It’s your attitude about yourself that people take on and believe. Hold your own and act like you’re #1, and everyone will believe it as long as you do.
I bring this up is for those of you who have a tendency to put others’ opinion, taste, attitude, or general approach to life above your own.
Once you’ve taken yourself out of first place in your own mind, their approval or validation of you starts to matter more than it should. You can get carried away to the point you forget how to set your own tone.
Bullies take advantage of this tendency because so many of their victims have it: The impulse to depend on what others think.
This goes past caring what they think. Caring what they think means you factor it in. Depending on it means you can’t act on your own let alone stand your ground against challenges.
All they have to do is say something critical or cruel that’s designed to seed the first doubt.
These unkind comments are bait.
Bullies also challenge what we think and want by putting it in their terms: They’ll tell us what we think, how we feel and what we deserve.
The bully’s ploy is to get you doubting and denying yourself.
They are betting you have the tendency to hold others’ opinions over your own. Don’t ever wait on what others think to see if it’s okay to be you.
If they’re right that it’s your tendency to rely on their opinions or preferences, they’ll make you desperate for their approval and validation before you know it, and then they’ll keep the upper hand. Total bully food.
Fortunately the way out of this trap is straightforward. It’s not always easy, but it is simple: Always act like you’re #1.
What you’ve won at is being yourself. Constantly claiming to be the best at anything else makes you seem conceited and you’ll always have challengers. In fact, some people become targets of bullying because they go too high on their horse.
The only thing you can win at against everyone else on this earth is being you. Nobody can beat you at that.
There is always someone who can beat you at whatever else, which is why you must never build your self concept on such competitions and performances. You’ll look like a clown, you’ll be living up to others’ options and standards, and ultimately you will lose.
This means you must lead with your personality as the most valuable thing you have to share. You are your best asset, and every day you live is another opportunity to outperform yourself.
As long as you believe wholeheartedly that you’re the best (at being you), everyone else will too. I have to empathize you must believe first to be the #1 of your life.
Never accept second best from anyone, least of all yourself.
Show them you cannot be made to feel bad about who you are. They can’t put you in 2nd place.
Play the star of your own show rather than a supporting role in somebody else’s.
You do this by validating yourself. Decide what’s cool to you and that anyone else’s idea of it comes second.
Remember, you aren’t trying to be better than anyone by bragging, showing off or putting others down.
You aren’t comparing yourself to others, and you’re not competing with them.
No! Simply show you agree with yourself, whether they agree or not. You give yourself the #1 stamp of approval no matter who’s around. You give yourself permission to be your best.
You are there to offer your best to everyone, which makes you a prize for all.
Only you can decide which critiques to accept as useful or legitimate. If a bully says some criticism, show it’s of no use to you by acting as if they don’t exist.
The thing is, nothing really is any better or cooler than anything else. The only difference is the meaning we give the things.
When you decide what’s meaningful to you and stick with it, the bully’s bait won’t make your radar.
