It might be a lot to ask during your summer break, or maybe you’ve been bored all summer, so it’s the perfect time. Hear me out when I say you must get better at being bored and even a little uncomfortable, dissatisfied or disappointed. I’ll tell you exactly why and how you should exercise your boredom muscle to make it as strong as possible.
When you know how to manage your own boredom, you have a superpower for life. No joke. It’s called frame control.
Think this through: Your capacity for boredom and dissatisfaction is your capacity to stick to a goal, complete assignments, listen to others you disagree with, focus instead of daydream, hold your own despite the odds, try new things, break bad habits, wait for better outcomes or options, appreciate the little things, deal with jerks, maintain your frame.
Learn to handle low levels of stimulation or disturbance, and you’ll be much more able to stay present.
As you do this you’ll find all boredom is in your mind. It’s your mind begging for entertainment like a bratty child.
This child will go down kicking and screaming until it gets the distraction it wants IF you indulge it.
Instead, become okay without thinking and letting your mind wander. Be okay with nothingness in the face of irritation, annoyance, unpleasantness.
Thinking too much blocks us from full access to living in the moment. The less we think, reflect, analyze, plot and plan, the more we actually live. You can always turn to your mind to solve a problem, but don’t let your mind turn you and your existence into a problem.
How you ask? How do you reduce all this thinking?
You can pay attention to your thoughts without judgment. Pay attention to your breathing. Or pay attention to silence. This will make you more aware of this moment, which is called presence.
You can also learn to stick with an uncomfortable state: Stretch your tight muscles. This isn’t just good for your physical health, but your mental health too. If you can last through an uncomfortable hamstring stretch, you’ll be able to last in an unpleasant confrontation.
This will enable to you to maintain your frame no matter who or what challenges it.
The mental equivalent of stretching tight muscles is to lean into boredom. Let whatever bores you help you get better.
Learn to be focused without being interested: Study something difficult you don’t enjoy. If you can handle intellectual complexity, you can handle emotional complexity. Both will make you more savvy with people.
HOW
Generic sources of boredom and discomfort:
Sit in silence
Listen to the whole podcast episode in one sitting (maybe listen twice)
Stretch tight muscles
Eat raw veggies and bland foods for an entire day
Say little to nothing in a conversation with several others or take extra long to reply to a message
Draw the same picture 10 times in a row
Go without devices and screens
Do chores (your parents will love it)
Observe your thoughts and resist any urge to judge them
Notice your breathing pattern or the sensations you feel, smell, hear
Intentionally have no fun for several hours: no games, activities, entertainment
Delay satisfaction: Wait to respond to a friend. Get the tedious things done before the fun ones.
REVIEW
The more bored you can be, the more likely you are to walk away from fun or easy options when they don’t suit you: Crumby friends, dangerous activities, procrastination, short term gratification, people pleasing. You’ll also be able to stick with anything long enough for it to become boring/easy: skills, difficulties, emotions, problems.
