We’ve touched on the Fight Flight Freeze Fawn or Flock response before-Today we’re going to really dig in to understand it better.It’s the body’s response to a perceived threat. FFFF is our threat response.Both the sympathetic (or stress and the parasympathetic (or calm down) responses are involved.Sometimes your body and mind will go into high gear in the face of a threat. You’ll feel adrenaline, a hormone that prepares you to fight or flee (run away) with extra power and strength. Your heart will beat faster, your muscles will constrict, your mind will go blank because all that matters in the world at that moment is survival.Other times you’ll find your body intentionally calms down to survive. In the face of a threat, animals don’t always fight back or run away from predators. They can also play dead or stand still(freeze), or they can play nice or join the herd, which is (flock).The reason we’re getting into the details of fight, flight, freeze, etc. is that dealing with bullies drives people like us (people who get bullied) into extreme stress and anxiety.Dr Claire Weekes’ approach was to slowly undo the threat response. She’s famous for cracking the anxiety code. I’ve found bullying is one of the many ways anxiety/panic can manifest in life, so let’s look at Dr. Weekes’ brilliant strategy for moving past panic. I believe it will help a lot.Her six word solution is: Face, accept, float, let time pass.What I notice is Face is the opposite of Flight. Accept is the opposite of fight. Float is the opposite of freeze. And letting time pass is the opposite of feeling rushed as if the perceived threat was an emergency needing immediate attention and care.Here’s my take on her advice:Instead of fleeing, running and hiding, you must face your bully. Face up to them. This doesn’t mean provoke them, or start stuff with them. It means stay put, stand your ground, be part of the solution instead of completely relying on others to help you.Instead of fighting your bully or resisting the fact that you have a bully right now, accept it! Accept that the bully is a jerk. Accept that you have to take responsibility for the problems the cause even though it’s not your fault. Accept the bullying you face as an opportunity to become stronger and more confident. Accepting means allowing what is true to sink in, so that you can separate fact from fantasy and over-anticipation.Instead of freezing when the bully tries to push you around (emotionally, socially or physically), melt and float through the situation. Let go of trying to be perfect. Get loose and relaxed so they can’t use your rigidity to push you over with one finger. Be willing relax and take the bully and yourself less seriously. Floating means giving up the tight grip you of control you feel you need.Instead of fawning and flocking, trying too hard to please others or betraying yourself to fit in, be authentic! Show everybody more of the real you and make sure they know you’ve got your own back whether they like it or not.Let time pass instead of sending in your mental ambulances every time the bully takes a shot at you. Be patient for everyone, including yourself, to get used to the new more confident you. They’ll adjust and so will you.By enacting the non-threat response of formula Dr. Weekes so wisely identified, you will teach your deeper mind not to see the bully as a threat. This deeper part of your brain where the threat response comes from only understands your behavior. You can’t simply explain to it with words that the bully is just a mean kid, not a dangerous predator. They only way the fear center in you brain will see the bully as a non-threat is if you ACT/BEHAVE like the bully is NOT a threat.
