Zoom in on one behavior to reverse in the name of relaxing your stress response
The key here is to take it easier than you have been.
Often times when we feel anxious or overwhelmed, we start to rush.
We rush as we walk from place to place, we race through assignments and tasks, we get impatient in conversations with others, rapidly tapping our toes
This is part of the threat response of flight: we race to get away from danger back to our safe comfort zone.
In the wild, this is back to our herd or cave. In our modern world it’s getting back to what’s easy and familiar or known.
A way to unwind this frantic feeling and behavior is to do the opposite, just as we have talked about before.
Beliefs lead to feelings, and feelings lead to behaviors, and behaviors lead to outcomes that reinforce beliefs
If you change any of them: your behavior and feelings will be different, and eventually beliefs will change too if you repeat the process often enough.
We’ve also discussed how making changes causes anxiety/excitement at first because it’s new, not known and therefore potentially a threat.
However, knowing the first few times will feel weird, we can make huge shifts with repeated small changes.
So, I recommend you start with your actual speed.
Slow down! Pump your brakes! Easy does it!
It works the same with any behavior, so if you don’t notice yourself racing through things when you’re stressed, then you can oppositize any other behavior: the way you talk, volume or tone, the place you sit front of class or the back, dominant hand to less dominant hand,
Any opposite behavior will give your mind something other than its worries to focus on, and by being different, you’ll start to feel different. Your experiences and expectations will begin to change. Over time your beliefs will too.
Slowing down is a great place to start because slowness is calming and therefore you’ll be more calm.
What do bullies hate more than anything? Calmness. Slowness brings calmness.
Slowing down has two main functions: it calms you down, and it makes you appear and feel more confident.
Most people are zooming around, rushing from place to place. When you set yourself apart from others by behaving differently than most of them, you raise your confidence status.
Slowly walking into a busy place stands out. You are confident enough to be a little different, and you are calm enough to take it easy. SLOW
Only a person who feels at ease with themself and others would ever think to behave independently much less take the perceived risk.
But taking things more slowly is a huge advantage. It may appear bold, but it’s actually a simple way to sooth and reverse anxiousness.
Be willing to take up some space and time for yourself by slowing yourself down a little. Paying attention to small automatic behaviors will get you into the habit of noticing other important details of how you and others behave.
Consider these areas to slow down: How fast you talk, how fast you walk, how fast you eat, how fast you reply, how fast you get ready in the morning (this might require you to wake up a little earlier), how fast you work on class or homework, how fast you consume media or use your devices or electronics.
By slowing down, you’re probably going to get to the moderate speed most others are already using, so don’t worry about being weirdly slow or anything, even though it might feel weird to change you behaviors as I mentioned earlier.
The most relaxed person is the most powerful person.
