There are only three possible ways you could know this about me. One, you follow me on LinkedIn, two, you know me, and three…actually everyone I’ve ever talked to knows this about me. The question I have for you right now is simple. Do you like mayonnaise?
If you do I’m actually considering removing you as a facebook friend. It’s that serious for me. It all started when my babysitter (no, I don’t still have a babysitter. Actually I do.) forced me to eat tuna casserole when I was in first grade. Do you realize the trauma that accompanies being forced to eat something you don’t want to? I do, and here we are 34 years later still feeling the affects. It’s a real struggle.
My life ordering food can be summarized into one sentence, “is there mayonnaise on it?” My favorite responses are “no, but I can put some on it if you would like.” I hate to even have to ask because in my professional opinion (yes, I am a professional food orderer) is that everything in or on the meal should clearly be written in the description of the item. I used to say I’ll take that burger plain but people don’t even know what that means anymore. Duh…it means no FREAKING SAUCE which includes that disgusting condiment known as mayonnaise. There’s always this argument with my wife it’s hilarious. “Don’t pull away from the drive-thru until I check my sandwich.” After she does, because she always does I get to tuck my tail between my legs and walk back into Wendy’s with my unwrapped burger in my hands and nasty look on my face. By the way if this happens to you it’s like having a Disney Fast Pass. You go straight to the font of the line and everyone will understand. “Oh, he’s mad!”
Here’s the point to all of this (and no this is not to make a push for miracle whip, that is equally as terrible). The point is, if you order something you should know exactly what you’re getting yourself into whether it’s something as unimportant as a Wendy’s baconator or let’s say your roof. There shouldn’t be any hidden ingredients that you get to bite into. Everything that’s included should be clearly written in the description and if it’s not shouldn’t be assumed. I don’t think that’s too much to ask for. Over the years we’ve all felt the need to remind someone we don’t want mayo or even worse found out about it after that first bite.
It should just be simple right?
LISTEN TO THE COLUMN BELOW!
