Fangle Dooble dozer
S.J.Simpson
It’s a fangle dooble dozer
Said Lilly to Rosa
The Stephens they did not agree
I think it’s a thaw ump
Or a digeree dee thump
But it comes right up to my knee
The one in the middle
Said the boy with the fiddle
Away in a world of his own
He played with such glee
Until quarter past three
It’s a shame you can’t bow a trombone!
My cousin Paul’s not my cousin at all
He’s a friend I met at a wake
We giggle at death and poor Uncle Geoff
Who like a stripper, popped out of the cake!
And old Bobby’s like Dobby
He surfs for a hobby
Spends hours just looking for porn
He’s got the best package
Which included a snackage
He’s a veggie so it’s probably just quorn
If he eats the whole thing he might end up in Tring
But he ended his days down in France.
Oh no he’s not dead
He’s with Sister Fred
A nun who wears men’s underpants.
She got up to pray at seven today
She worships a God made of cheese,
She used to be catholic
I think she’s allergic,
The smell of incense makes her sneeze.
In the name of the Gowder
The stinking bishop has power
The big cheddar, the edam, the brie.
She went to confession to atone of her sinning
Because she loved a pirate called Smee.
But Father Mcsharry
Was dreaming of Barry
When poor Sister Fred
Spilled the beans.
Just pick up the can
It’s a Heinz 56 !
You’re missing a flavour it seems!
I’m in love with a man
With a bright orange tan
And a moustache he paints on with ink
He’s not got much of a brain
He might be insane
He calls himself Ethel I think?
He smells like a bakery
He loves buns and pastries
His favourites are pasties from Greggs
But I’d prefer a nice truffle
Or a cocktail with Russel
But I might lose control of my legs.
There’s my new friend called James
Who’s taken the blame
For my lack of decorum on trains
I swear it’s tourettes
But I break into sweats
I think that I’ve broken my brain
But the moral of the tale
Is that nothings for sale
When your friends are as nuts as a scrotum
And I think you’re the best
But I’ll be better with rest
I’m like a bear who’s missing his Totum
POLE.
