No More Mr. Maybe!
Not getting what or who we want sucks, right?
Whether it's a raise, a role, a partner, or hitting "that" goal, it hurts and we feel low about it. I know.. I've been there. Earlier today this message popped up in my dms: "Violet, why the hell isn't this working? I've done too much to make this relationship work and now he's pulling back. What am I doing wrong? I'm fed up. Help?"
My heart sunk a bit. I felt for her, and before I started drafting some empowering message like I normally would, I sat back and reflected just how freaking awful that feels.. because girl, I know. It's shitty. It hurts. Unrequited love is the worst kinda love there is. I know because I've been there. It f'n hurts.
You want it so bad to "work". You see others posting all the perfect lovey-dovey photos you dream of living and you can't help but grow anger, hate.. even jealousy. How do I know?
Well, I'm human and I'm a woman and yes, I admit I've felt every emotion under this sun for many reasons and I'd have to admit that love sometimes makes you a damn fool. How do I know? Well, "hi, here I am.. welcome and hello!" I've been one, many times. So I know. I do.
Wanna know something else? I don't regret any decision I made in the past as a "fool" because as much as rejection or pain hurt, I learned so much about myself in the process of that pain and those chapters in my past life and I'd like to share a few of them with you.
1 (of many) big lessons I've learned in relationships:
When you chase a butterfly... it flies away. But when you sit in all your calming, happy, self-fulfilled glory, it comes to embrace you, accompany you, play with you and love you. It craves your energy, it doesn't stray from it.
If you're an emotional, neurotic chicken running around with its head cut off, making accusations, chasing, stalking, screaming or manipulating, you are only damaging yourself. Check yourself - as best as you can in the moment and I mean it.
I've felt all the crazy feelings before when my trust was broken in past relationships and it's hard to "check yourself" when your heart is pounding and your tears are nonstop flowing and your hands want to hug the poison that also seems to be your medicine.. it's hard, but it's not impossible. If there's a will, there is always a way.
Remember that you are deserving of all the love in this world, yes YOU. You don't need to be rich or skinny or have perfect skin or the best job or the straightest teeth. You don't. If you love yourself truly, madly deeply, he will too. If you respect yourself truly, madly, deeply, he will too. You are not a doormat darling, so please stop acting like one.
If you're crying or frustrated in this moment reading this, know that I've been there. Many, many times. I've wasted so much damn mascara and eyeliner in my life and damaged so many pretty white pillowcases, so if it's gotta happen now, then cry it all out girl and let it be the last time you exert this precious energy on some fool unworthy of your love.
Click Play to listen to the rest.
Love,
Violet
