I'll say something you may not have heard before. And if you have, I'll say it again:
Hurt people... hurt people.
You'll never hear something that will make you question your worth from someone who genuinely loves, honors and respects themself.
Why?
Because people who care and respect themselves, generally care and respect others. They won't make you feel poorly or make you question yourself with the intention to cause pain, frustration, anxiety, sadness or anger. We all make mistakes. Trust me, I would know. I’ve made many in life, but I’ve also learned so much along the way.
Just because you’re having a rough time, doesn’t mean you need to take that anger or toxicity out onto someone else. Sure, we all need people to vent to and share how we're feeling. We all love and appreciate support and a shoulder to cry on from time to time, but purposely pushing your pain onto someone else just to have them sit in misery with you is never the positive or right outcome. Not only do you cause pain to someone innocent but you further ruin yourself along the way.
If someone makes you feel inferior or less than for whatever reason, here are 3 things to remember:
1) I'll say it AGAIN: hurt people hurt people.
This isn’t meant to excuse poor behavior but it’s simple true. In high school I was picked on by a girl who always gave me bad vibes and rolled her eyes every chance she could. One day she took it too far and had her friend trip me between classes. How do I know? Well, I heard her. I landed on my chest and scraped my chin on the cement floor of our high school bridge. Embarrassed that everyone saw, I quickly grabbed my books and ran to the second floor bathroom. I thought I was alone when I heard a knock on my stall. "I’m really sorry. I swear, Violet. I can’t help but be angry at you. All my ex ever did was talk about you and I’ve always been jealous. It was wrong and I feel like crap now." Having the good sense of humor my dad instilled in me, I genuinely laughed back and said, “Well... try having to ice your boobs and chin at the same time!" I unlocked my door, stepped out and we locked eyes. As embarrassed as I was, I mostly felt really sorry for her. That pain I saw in her eyes looking back at me was worse than the pain I felt in that moment.
What’s the moral here? Be empathetic but also set boundaries.
Everyday I chose to look her in the eyes in class, passing the hall on my way to my next class or heading to Girls Drill team practice and everyday she bonded more with me. She wasn’t a horrible person. She was a hurt person who needed to be shown love.
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Love,
Violet
