Today's topic is one that's really important to me. It's something that I believe in so strongly that I want to pass it on to the next generation. I call it "Chivalry is not Dead." Now, I know it might sound a bit old-fashioned, but bear with me. In this episode, I'm speaking directly to all you men out there – husbands, fathers, boyfriends – who want to be the best possible partners to your significant others.
I've been thinking about chivalry since I was a teenager. In fact, when I was in high school, I had a knight in shining armor on one side of my class ring with the words "Chivalry, why?" above it. Even then, I knew that I wanted to be the best partner I could be. Of course, I didn't always succeed. In fact, I made a lot of mistakes in my early relationships. But over time, I learned what it meant to truly show up for my significant other.
I think part of the reason why chivalry has become such a lost concept is that men have a bad reputation when it comes to relationships. We've ruined our own reputation by not showing up as the best versions of ourselves in our relationships. But I believe that we can change that. By being more connected to ourselves and our partners, we can be the best husbands, lovers, and companions possible.
Let me tell you about my experience with reconnection and sustaining a deep connection with my significant other. It's a feeling that's hard to describe, but it's something we both crave. We've had times when we were disconnected for long periods of time, and then finally, we would reconnect and feel great. We'd feel love and be connected to each other for days and weeks until life pulled us back into the current, and we'd become disconnected again. It's frustrating when that happens, but we've learned to recognize it and work on it.
One time, we were arguing about something silly like whether the recycling was taken out or not. I knew deep down that there was something more going on, and it wasn't just about recycling. My partner was in a state of disconnection and was expressing it through the argument. We've had similar arguments before, and it's always been because we're not connecting at a deeper level.
I've learned that as a loving partner, it's my job to be the knight in shining armor that my partner needs. It's not about being perfect or doing everything right, but it's about showing up and being there for her. Women often want someone who will fight for them, protect them, love them, honor them, take care of them, and provide for them. But in today's society, it's hard to find someone who can do all of these things consistently.
When I talk to other dads and husbands, they often complain about the lack of connection they feel with their significant other. I know that if they're feeling that way, their wives and moms are probably feeling the same way too. When we talk about our relationship, we often realize that we're not as connected as we want to be. We have conversations about the kids and household chores, but we're not having deep, passionate conversations about our feelings and what's going on in our lives.
That's why sustaining a deep connection with your significant other is crucial. It's not just about having conversations about everyday life; it's about creating a safe container where both of you can express your feelings and be heard. When we have these conversations on a regular basis, we feel more connected to each other. We can support each other emotionally and work through any challenges that come our way.
It's easy to let life get in the way and forget about the importance of staying connected to our partners. But we have to remember that our relationship is the foundation for everything else in our lives. If we're not connected, everything else starts to break down. Our kids can sense it too, and we're always modeling what it means to be in a relationship with them.
So, if you're a gentleman reading this, I encourage you to make it a priority to connect with your significant other every single day. It's not about grand gestures or extravagant dates; it's about showing up and being present. When you're connected, you can work through anything together, and that's what makes a strong and healthy relationship. Think of it as chivalry - getting on your horse, grabbing your shield and lance, and going to war for your relationship. It's the most important thing you'll ever do.
"When husband and wife are united in marriage they no longer seem like something earthly, but rather like the image of God Himself." - St. John Chrysostom
Blessings on your path,
Rev. Benjamin Norman
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