I wanted to share something with you today that's been weighing heavily on my heart. The topic isn't awesome at all, in fact, it's quite tragic. I've been having conversations with men from all walks of life - business owners, police officers, soldiers, everyday men - and there's a common theme among them.
They're struggling in their marriages and relationships, and the problem is prevalent throughout our country. Words like "narcissism" and "gaslighting" are being thrown around, and many men are being labeled as such by their wives. It's sickening to hear women say that they don't need men anymore, that all they need is a donation of sperm from a sperm bank. If you're listening to this and your wife has called you a narcissist or accused you of gaslighting, then this is a wake-up call for you.
The problem has everything to do with men not showing up as emotional, feeling, and thinking beings. We were raised to believe that emotions are weak, and it's costing us our marriages and relationships. I understand this because I lived it. I was a boy trapped in a man's body, and it cost me my first marriage. If I had known how to share my feelings and experiences in a way that invited connection, things may have been different. I urge you to take a moment to reflect on this and think about how you can show up differently in your relationships.
I understand what you're going through because I've been there myself. When you don't know who you are, it's hard to stand on your own two feet, speak up, or feel worthy. You're constantly seeking validation from others and trying to please everyone around you. It's time to wake up and discover yourself.
You may have gone to school, gotten a degree, and have a career, but that's not who you are. You need to discover your true self and be authentic in your relationships. You need to be a man of honor, fighting for your wife and doing whatever it takes to connect with her. It's time for a new generation of men who lead their lives with faith and who are connected to who they truly are.
It's easy to blame your wife for the state of your relationship, but it's not her fault. It's your responsibility to turn things around and connect with her on a deeper level. She's in this place because you didn't connect with her, and you put her in a box where she's managing everything, including the kids' emotions, and not being heard or understood. It's time to step up and be the man that she needs in her life.
Living together is "an art, a patient, beautiful and fascinating journey..... which can be summarized in three words: please thank you and sorry." - Pope Francis
Blessings on your path,
Rev. Benjamin Norman
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