My guest today, Meghan Daum, has been an Op Ed columnist for the Los Angeles Times since 2005. Meghan is also the author of four books, including The Unspeakable and Other Subjects of Discussion, which won the 2015 Penn Center USA Award for Creative Nonfiction. She edited the NY Times best–selling anthology Selfish, Shallow, and Self-Absorbed, which is a compilation of 16 writers’ essays on the choice to not have kids. This book has sparked wide ranging conversation around the topic of choosing to have or to not have kids. Meghan’s message is that opting out of parenthood is NOT a sign of laziness or immaturity, but a complicated and intensely personal decision.
Join us to hear Meghan discuss the following:
- It was Meghan’s personal choice to not become a parent, and it was something she always knew deep-down, but didn’t realize that option existed.
- Having/not having a child is an interesting subject to write about and lends itself to a deeper look and deliberate thought about that life choice.
- Meghan became pregnant at age 41, miscarried, and actually felt relieved. “I would have, of course, loved that child, but I’m not sure I would have loved my life.”
- Even when you KNOW you’ve made the choice to not have kids, there still can be certain degrees of grief involved.
- Her anthology includes 13 women and 3 men who wrote about the topic, which is unusual because we don’t usually hear the male viewpoint.
- The fear of future regret is NOT a good enough reason to have a child.
- Many people who have chosen to live childfree lives have put much more thought into the decision than some who have chosen to be parents!
- It’s human nature to give our opinion and advice and look for commonality around the choice that WE make, including parenthood. We all seem to want others to make the choices we have made.
- Meghan’s goal is to change the conversation about which side of the issue is more/less selfish.
- It comes down to knowing yourself and giving yourself permission to know what you really want.
- Meghan’s creative energy is expressed in her writing and expressing opinions, but even people NOT in creative careers can make the choice for themselves and not based on society’s expectations.
- It’s important for kids today to have role models from all different perspectives and know that they don’t have to fit into a mold that is uncomfortable.
- For Meghan, the major benefit of choosing to not have kids is that she feels lucky to live in a time and place where she has the ability to make that choice for herself.
- To find out more about Meghan and her work, visit www.meghandaum.com.
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