Welcome to today's episode of Unclassified Woman. Today I have the pleasure of talking to Faith Agugu.
Do you ever wish you had a crystal ball that could show you the future? Often the decisions we make today might be different if we knew what was around the bend for us. Finding real peace, though, means coming to terms with the past, including the decisions we've made and the way those circumstances have grown us into who we've become today. My guest bares it all to share her story and how it didn't quite turn out like she had expected. In spite of it all, she is thankful for the path she's taken and the impact she can have on other women in the world.
Faith Agugu has always been motivated by service. Her first job after leaving school was with a not-for-profit organisation in London, working with children from troubled backgrounds. She then discovered the bright lights of the fashion industry and worked as a catwalk model for over five years before she left London for the sunny shores of Sydney, Australia.
Faith landed a job with one of Australia's leading fashion houses, and continued to advance her career as a model, and then launched her own fashion business--Raw Fashion Agency-- in 2004. Representing local fashion designers as a PR and sales agency, Faith also began teaching at FBI Fashion College in 2006, mentoring the next generation of up-and-coming fashionistas.
"I thought it would be irresponsible of me to hand my child over to this man every weekend if I chose to carry on with the pregnancy." - Faith Agugu
After 25 years in the fashion industry, and approaching her 50th birthday, Faith felt the call to return to helping others and took time out to study for a bachelor's degree in social science, majoring in counselling. Faith launched her new business, The Healing Process, where she offers counselling, energy healing, and mindfulness coaching to women tackling the challenges of mid-life. She also runs regular workshops to assist her clients to work through issues of self-esteem, relationships, and addiction.
Faith also has a particular interest in balancing the disadvantages experienced by the indigenous community. Faith is a passionate, motivated, and driven entrepreneur, and through her private practice, she seeks to help women find their voice and claim their place in society. She is a very inspiring lady, indeed.
What you'll hear in this episode:
- The circumstances that led to Faith's child-free life. In her 20's, she thought she would definitely be a mother by age 30 and she assumed the man she was in a relationship with would be the father of her children
- That relationship ended, and she met another man and actually got pregnant at age 31, but she knew there was no way the relationship would last or that she could share a child with him
- She made the decision to terminate the pregnancy, never realising at the time, that it would be her one and only opportunity to be a mother.
- Why many women don't talk about the topic of abortion and terminations, because of the shame, guilt, and pain.
- Why Faith felt an urgency with every ensuing relationship to have a child, even rushing the relationship along to accomplish her "agenda".
- The desire to have a child felt natural for Faith. She had a strong sense of it that she took for granted, and it never occurred to her that it would NOT happen.
- The difference in cultural expectations for women of colour or certain ethnicities around the topic of childbearing.
- How Faith's mother had to "come to terms" with the idea of Faith--and some of her siblings--NOT being parents and giving her grandchildren: this affected Faith profoundly and made her feel "less of a woman" at the time.
- The estimated facts are that by 2030 in Australia, there will be more family units without children than with them---there are BIG changes occurring!
- How Faith felt judged and "less than" when compared to other women who had children.
- The deep grieving process it takes to "let go of the dream".
- For Faith, the best tool for getting through the grief was therapy. It helped tremendously to talk about the grief she felt each week with a therapist.
- There are different ways to find meaning and purpose through nurturing. Faith resonates with what Melanie Notkin says in using the word "child-full" in that she has children in her life, but they are just not her own. Faith finds fulfilment in her close relationship with her godchildren and her hands-on work as a case worker and counsellor for girls ages 18-27. Ironically, this is the age that her daughter would be today if that pregnancy had continued.
- Faith is grateful for the chance to "mother" and mentor other women, to hold space for them, and to nurture them. "I'm at peace with my soul's choice."
- Faith expresses her creative energy and essence in cooking as a way to show love and intentionality in a purely meditative process that transforms people that receive it.
- Faith's also currently works with daughters on the powerful healing journey for the mother-daughter relationship. This of course impacts all of our relationships with women and how we perceive ourselves as women.
You can find out more about Faith and her work at
www.thehealingprocess.com.au
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