#133
In this thoughtful and deeply personal episode, John and Jackie from Openlove101 explore one of the most commonly asked — and emotionally complex — topics in consensual non-monogamy: playing alone. Whether that means separate play dates, being in different rooms at home, or playing independently in clubs, they share how couples can navigate fear, insecurity, and trust while maintaining a strong connection.
Jackie reflects on the early emotional responses that often surface when partners first begin playing apart, including jealousy, uncertainty, and sensory overwhelm. John shares his perspective on fear around safety, trust, and emotional security when not physically present. Together, they explain how communication, repetition, and intentional boundaries help transform something intimidating into something familiar and grounded.
This episode emphasizes that playing alone isn't about forcing yourself through discomfort — it's about habituation, reassurance, and pacing. By honoring readiness, setting clear boundaries, and allowing trust to build through lived experience, couples can decide whether playing apart fits their relationship in a healthy and sustainable way.
🔑 Key Insights:
Playing alone can initially trigger fear, jealousy, and insecurity
These emotions often soften with experience and positive reinforcement
Habituation helps normalize separate play over time
Open communication and check-ins build safety and trust
Repeated positive experiences strengthen emotional resilience
Not all fears must be pushed through immediately
Boundaries and pacing are essential in consensual non-monogamy
⏱️ Timestamps:
00:00 – What "playing alone" means
01:30 – Initial fears and emotional reactions
03:00 – Sensory overload and lack of reference points
04:30 – Trial, error, and habit formation
06:00 – Communication, boundaries, and check-ins
07:30 – Walking through fear at your own pace
08:30 – Closing thoughts and encouragement
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Like, subscribe, and join the conversation in the comments — what fears or questions come up for you when thinking about playing alone?
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