In case you didn’t know, this podcast is called the Piano Parent Podcast. Most episodes deal with common obstacles or struggles students face when learning to play the piano. Today, I’d like to spend our time together by focusing on just you, parents.
Specifically, today I want to encourage you to stand firm and do not give in.
Click here to download this episode.
Since my youngest is 16 and my parenting skills are a little dated, I decided to check out what others say about modern parenting. This article by Robert Locke from LIfehack.org had some interesting things to say about this topic. He says it is a mistake to give in to have a quiet life.
Many parents give in because they have to juggle credit card, shopping, trolley and a screaming child. The only problem about giving in and hoping for a quiet life is that the child has learned a new strategy. This will be used again and again. It works!
I couldn’t agree more and I’ll talk a bit more about giving in in a bit but I have a few comments about his ‘fix’ for temptation in the grocery store.
The best way to avoid grocery store meltdowns is to:
Our temptation when our child is being disagreeable - they are whining about playing a song they think is too hard - or having a full-on temper tantrum - they are crying and hiding under the piano bench to avoid the piano (This happened many years ago in a lesson. I held the young man’s hand and marched him out to his mother’s car. I told her his lesson was over for the day and that we would try again next week. I am proud to tell you that same young man has continued lessons with me all these years and will be graduating high school this year. He has continued to study piano his own way and has achieved unconventional success but he has learned to keep working and to respect my instruction. Hugh goal achieved!) Our temptation in those situations is to give in. Just make it stop!
Like Robert Locke says in his article, that is teaching your child a strategy but it is not about coping or perseverance or discipline. Giving in only teaches them that crying and being loud works. Each time you give in, their will becomes stronger.
The first time you do not give in, you may feel like they will never stop crying or they will never settle down. Once they learn that tactic is not going to be successful, they will not work so hard at their tantrum (an uncontrolled outburst of anger and frustration, typically in a young child.) the next time.
Each time you stand your ground. You speak calmly to the child, assure them that you love them and they are safe but remind them that they must obey you. Their tantrum will become less powerful and last a shorter period of time.
If it’s not working, they are smart and will try a different strategy.
Here are some suggestions for setting your piano kid and yourself up for success.
Parenting is not for the faint of heart. Our children don’t come with instruction manuals, we have to learn as we go. Sometimes we will give in too easily because we are tired and we just want some peace and quiet. I want you to know you are doing a good work and I support you and hope to encourage you.
Hang in there!
This episode is brought to you by “The Piano Parent Summer Survival Kit”.
The end of the school year and summer break is just around the corner. With the excitement of a change of pace comes the reality that your piano kid is going to have more free time on their hands.
Rather than just telling them to go practice piano, I’ve created a free resource for you to use that has fun and creative ways to help them stay engaged with their music and playing the piano this summer.
The Piano Parent Summer Survival Kit mini eBook offers a variety of activities to keep your piano momentum progressing forward. There are things your piano kid can do independently as well as suggestions for things your whole family can do together.
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