Maria and Michelle finish up their series on toxicity in the workplace this week by talking about how to move on from a toxic environment. A lot of advice says there are only two options in this situation: deal with it or leave. Our hosts, however, know that there are more options, and in today’s episode, they discuss what those options are and how to know which approach is right for you.
They kick things off by discussing the four possible approaches to a toxic work culture: Avoid, Survive, Thrive, or Get the Eff Out. Michelle points out that while getting out may be the best option in some scenarios, in others it’s possible to work around toxicity, whether by avoiding it in the first place, managing the situation to survive without damaging your mental health, or even working with the toxic element to end up thriving. She and Maria talk about the levels of toxicity and how staying in a highly toxic environment can have a long-lasting impact on your well-being, potentially requiring weeks or even months of recovery time. They also discuss the importance of asking for help, whether through career coaching or self-help books, advising those dealing with toxic work environments to look at advice for those suffering domestic abuse as the situations can be strikingly similar. Finally, they wrap up the series by reiterating two main pieces of advice: ask for help, and be part of the solution, not part of the problem.
The Finer Details of This Episode:
Quotes:
“If you are in a truly toxic environment, our goal can’t be ‘how do we make you the queen of the castle or the king of the castle’? It has to be ‘how do we keep this from having long-term implications on your well-being?’”
“If you are trying to manipulate someone who has zero empathy or compassion, and you’re trying to beat them, if you will, the only way you’re going to do that is to do it from a place of zero compassion or empathy.”
“I’m gonna be honest with you, your happy face is not going to help anything that’s happening inside your head. The stories inside your head are not going to change because you bring your happy face to work.”
“Am I really that person who’s like, ‘My boss was mean to me’? Yes, you need to be that person. You need to get out. And you need to seek someone to talk to. And you need to go through some truth chats so that you realize the shit you’re hearing was not actually true.”
“Feedback from a work environment is just too glib because corporate America, in particular, was built on the concept of ‘emotions don’t belong at work.’”
“Ask for help. There are lots of career coaches in the world - we’re not the only ones. I would tell you to look for someone who is focused on helping you through a difficult situation and not just trying to help you find your dream job.”
“The mental abuse that results from a toxic work environment is all of our problem. It is every single person’s problem.”
“If you see it and don’t say something, I need you to go home and put a little check in the mirror saying that you made it acceptable for someone to behave that way. If you walk away, if you spread your own lies because you’re trying to protect yourself, all of those things that you are doing to avoid being the target of a toxic person, it makes you part of the problem. And so that means we’re all part of the solution.”
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