Hey, What’s Up! It’s Tommy.
Thanks for joining me on this episode of Spectrum in Camouflage. Today’s show is a bit heavier than usual, and I want to share something really personal. Our local community lost a brother—a firefighter named John Saunders—someone I’ve known and worked with for nearly a decade. This tragedy shook us deeply, and it's left a weight that’s hard to put into words.
In this episode, I talk through the guilt, grief, and mental load that can come from loss—especially when you feel like you should’ve been there but weren’t. I reflect on what it means to show up for others, even when you're not sure how. I also draw a connection to our journey with our autistic son, Wyatt, and the regrets that can come from decisions we made before we knew what we know now.
I want to be real with you—grief isn’t linear. Whether it’s grieving a loss, a diagnosis, or the feeling that you could’ve done something differently, it takes time. And if you’re in that space right now, you’re not alone. Your pain is valid. Your questions are valid. And your healing matters.
This one’s for John, for his family, for my brothers on the department, and for every parent out there carrying unseen weight.
Visit spectrumincamouflage.com to explore more episodes and resources.
If you want to connect, share your story, or just talk, email me at tommy@spectrumincamouflage.com.
Together, we can create a community to support autistic kids and their families.
Let’s learn, grow, and make a difference—one step, one piece of the puzzle, one child at a time.
