What Kind of Friend Are You?
Proverb 27:9, 10
9 Ointment and perfume delight the heart, and the sweetness of a man’s friend gives delight by hearty counsel. 10 Do not forsake your own friend or your father’s friend, nor go to your brother’s house in the day of your calamity; Better is a neighbor nearby than a brother far away.
There are two very special friends who have graduated on to heaven. I miss them greatly and often will remember their consistent friendship that we had for many years. There have even been times when something is going on in my life or a situation that I would subconsciously think, “Oh, I’ll give my friend a call and see what she thinks about this, and then gradually it will come into my consciousness that they are not there anymore. Each of them had met a place in my heart; they had been priceless gifts in my life. There was this ability between us to truly listen and hear what was really going on inside. So many times, to this day, I miss their ability to hear and understand my thoughts and struggling heart. They never tried to fix me, but were able to discern and walk with me through the processing and through the struggle of my dilemma. “Love is to reveal the beauty of another person to themselves,” wrote Jean Vanier. Carefully listening and paying attention to people was at the very heart of Jesus’ mission. He was moved with compassion. Mature friends develop the ability to be prayerfully present, revealing their friend’s beauty to themselves. Most of the time, many people you interact with, while you may be trying to share something from your heart, are truly not listening at all, but thinking about what they want to say about themselves. Honestly, I have consciously and probably even unconsciously stopped trying to say anything about myself other than general, light conversation when in interaction with someone else. If you are intuitive to those around you and listen, truly listening, take notice to how much a person can keep focused on their own story. Their thoughts may be scattered, yet to them it’s interesting and important. Few and far between will there be friends like my two passed companions. But here’s the thought for today—what kind of a friend am I to others? Am I really carefully listening, and in times of struggle, silently praying and listening to the voice of the Holy Spirit for any words of counsel and encouragement? Am I judgmental and opinionated concerning what my friend is sharing, or can I be bi-partial and truly honest with them in a kind, balanced way? Today I have some other friends God has graced me with, yet not just any one of them can meet that need for friends, but each one meets a certain place within my heart. I’m thankful to the Lord for His kindness to me through them, and I pray I can be that kind of friend to others God places in my life who can give delight through hearty counsel.
What about you? What kind of friend are you? Are you a good listener, a truthful friend, a constant friend? Let’s check ourselves daily before the Lord and ask for Him to give us the ability to be a solid, righteous friend worthy of the gift of friendship God has given. Have a great day.
