We come to the last of the 10 Commandments: “You shall not covet...” As Paul pointed out in Romans 7, this commandment is explicitly internal. If we wanted to dodge the others as merely a checklist of actions to avoid (i.e., "don't kill people, cheat on your spouse, steal or lie - got it!"), the tenth commandment will not let us off the hook so easily. Coveting does not outwardly injure my neighbor. It is something in my heart. It is a disposition. We are getting a strong reminder that these commands are not merely rules to be enacted, but a glimpse of God's heart being inculcated among his people. But saying that is the goal doesn't solve the underlying problem: why does my heartburn like this against my co-worker's success? Why am I envious of my neighbor's possessions or my friend's seemingly better romantic relationship? Woody Allen famously said: "the heart wants what it wants." But what if the heart's desires are themselves broken? The tenth commandment is an exclamation point on the problem of the human condition. So, doctor, if that's the diagnosis, what's the prognosis? Where is the hope? Let's talk about why we all sing "I can't get no satisfaction..." and how God actually gives it.
Discussion Questions
Name three things your neighbors have that you don't but wish you did. Name three things God has done in your life in the last month. Which of those tasks is easier for you? Why?
Read Romans 7:7-12. Restate verse 8 in your own words. What is he admitting about his own heart? Do you assess your own covetousness fairly or woefully underestimate it? Try to go deep: How does your sin (behavior) and covetousness play off of one another?
Recall the difference between jealousy and coveting. Is it merely semantic or substantive? Does it depend on the nature of the particular object/person being coveted? Give real examples.
Neighbor
What is the most repeated word in Exodus 20:17? Who is that in your life and what are the variety of ways in which you can covet their lives, according to the verse? How has social media expanded this sense of neighbor in your life? Are there people, brands, or hashtags you need to unfollow; because they aren’t helping you with any of this?
What is underneath all of these objects of our desire in Exodus 20:17? How is the 10th commandment a threat to our envisioned lives?
Finish the sentence: "I'd be ok if I only had..." What is the big picture answer to that question? Does that differ from our day-to-day answer to that question? Accordingly, how might seeing what our neighbor "has" trigger active coveting? What does that reveal about our demeanor toward God (and what he has given us)? Let’s be plain here: do you think and act like you deserve more?
FOMO
"The secret of envy is that somewhere down deep I enjoy my best friend's failure." (Foucault) Why is it difficult for us to cheer for others, especially if they excel in areas where we struggle?
Read the parable of the Rich Fool (Luke 12:13-21). Would you want to trade circumstances someone like that, especially if you could avoid the harsh ending? What are we afraid we are missing?
What is the lie Satan is selling Eve in Genesis 3:4-5? What does Satan covet in Isaiah 14:13-14? If coveting leads us to want to trade places with others, what is the ultimate form of that demonstrated here? If you think about who you want to trade places with, what lie are you chasing?
When was the last time you thought, "if I were God, I would do it differently"? Why is it so hard to relinquish (the illusion of) control? Where does the compulsion for control show up in your life?
How can we change?
Satan wants to ascend the throne in Isaiah 14. Contrast that with Jesus in Philippians 2:5-8. If coveting is yearning after what is someone else's, what does Jesus covet? How is his pursuit of the cross the antithesis of our sinful coveting? Who would want to trade for a life like his? And yet Jesus says, "if any man come after me, let him take up his cross, deny himself, and follow me" (Lk.9:23). Is that attractive to anyone? Why would anyone covet such a thing? If coveting is wanting to trade places with someone else, how is Jesus' version so utterly contrary to how we normally think?
Gospel: Until we see Christ joyfully trading places with us, giving his life away in our place, we will not trust what he provides so that we begin to want to give our lives away. Only to the degree that we experience that will we begin to enter (Willingly? Regularly? Eagerly?!) into others' suffering to see them gain healing, joy, and life.
Applying the Gospel:
Who in your life would you willingly trade places with, knowing you'd get the worse end of the deal? Who, if they were sick or dying, would you rather ask God to let it be you who was sick or dying instead? What is it about that relationship that draws that out of you, organically? How is it different from how we think about our neighbors, especially when we covet? How is this "life to the fullest" (John 10:10) a way to answer the lie we tell ourselves when we covet?
