Friendship is more than just liking someone else. True friendship involves my willingness to go to bat for the other even at damage to me. The story of David and Jonathan in this week’s focal text is an example of the kind of true friendship.
Students of the Bible disagree on some of the dimensions of the love than Jonathan and David had for each other. Did it have a sexual component? In 1 Samuel 20:41, the two men kiss. In 2 Samuel 1:26, David speaks of his love for Jonathan being greater than the love of women. For some, this honors David and Jonathan as a homosexual relationship. For others, they note that the Hebrew word used for “love” in these verses is not the Hebrew word used for sexual love. Maybe we can agree on one point: the sexual nature of the relationship is irrelevant to the quality of friendship.
Jonathan has two competing loyalties: his father, King Saul, and his friend David. Jonathan tries to connect the two; he takes his royal identity and gives it to David (1 Samuel 18:4). David is masterful as a solider (1 Samuel 18:5), so the king promotes him. That works until the populace begins to celebrate David more than they do Saul (1 Samuel 18:7). This flips the switch for Saul who now tries to get rid of David (1 Samuel 18:10). This “yes” and “no” pattern continues with Jonathan trying to stay in good relationship with his father and with David. (This push-and-shove continues well after this week’s study passages.)
The Hebrew word most often used for “friend” is rêa<. That word comes from a root word that describes the kind of care that a shepherd gives to the flock. Is it any wonder that early disciples were moved to call Jesus “Good Shepherd”? (John 10:11) Jonathan and David had this kind of friendship, constantly caring for the other. Jesus says that friendship with God means keeping God’s commands (John 15:10). What kind of friend am I?
Indeed, what kind of friend am I?
What Someone Else Has Said: Dinah Maria Mulock Craik is quoted in Jan Karon’s novel Somewhere Safe with Somebody Good (G. P. Putnam’s Sons): “Oh, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person: having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but to pour them out, just as they are—chaff and grain together, knowing that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and then with the breath of kindness, blow the rest away.”
Prayer: As you prepare this lesson, let your prayer begin: “Holy Shepherd, You care for me; move me to graze in pastures green...”
