This is a repeating message from Post-Nuclear Reno, the New Years lockdown is still in effect city-wide.
Please remember to stay hidden at all times and be sure that all doors and windows are locked.
If you have barricaded thoroughly, please be sure to keep a fire extinguisher handy and stay away from flammable substances.
The New Years Eve Kiss is still within the city limits and will not leave until it has claimed a victim.
If you hear fireworks, do not look at them, if you see fireworks, immediately run in the opposite direction and seek shelter. Again, the New Years Eve Kiss still has yet to claim its yearly victim.
For those that are trying to live through this new year, please use these helpful tips to avoid the New Years Eve Kiss.
Keep your lips parallel to the ground as much as possible and do not move them unless absolutely necessary.
Avoid using any devices that may give off a heat signature.
Do not kiss any loved ones, the New Years Eve Kiss can smell fresh kisses from up to 5 miles away.
If the Kiss is in your midst, try hiding your head within a non-flammable sack.
This is Bobby Benedict from Post-Nuclear Reno, have a happy new year and avoid the New Years Eve Kiss. This message will repeat.
Post-Nuclear Reno is a comedy podcast hosted by Bobby Benedict and guested by Reno comedians and other special guests. The podcast is set in a world created weekly by the guests set around the idea that we are in an apocalyptic alternate reality.
