There's nothing like getting the old one-two, a bacterial sock to the snotlocker followed by an electoral blow to the breadbasket.
For treatment we visit the witch doctors of The Firesign Theatre, SNL's "Theodoric of York, Medieval Barber," and that sniffling eejit behind the mic at Infernal Hound Sound.
The background music, "Abandoned," comes from Zapsplat.