Lesbianism, radical self-care, a nurturing marriage with kink dynamics, and a sex-inclusive love of romance novels—Elizabeth shares stories of self-discovery and how it led to a marriage that embraces submission, pleasure, and mutual growth.
📈 STATS | 39 lesbian white trans woman, she/her pronouns, submissive, monogamous, married to partner of four years, into: D/s, impact play, hypnosis, role play, TTRPGs, game design, writing, romance novels
⏰ TIME CODE
00:00 What she loves about romance novels and the importance of feeling chosen
05:54 Reflections on asexual relationships and knowing what kind of sexual connection she needs
08:36 How her wife’s grand romantic gestures help her feel seen and appreciated
12:55 Discovering the perks of a mutually “selfish” marriage
15:02 Figuring out how to romance her wife with enthusiastic support
19:35 Building trust through consistent, conscientious care and deep gratitude
22:16 Polyamory almost-explorations and why she doesn’t recommend serial monogamy
24:46 How transitioning led to more communicative and emotionally present relationships
27:49 Finding space for solo time to enjoy romance novels, old sci-fi, and TTRPGs
31:08 Experiencing constant crushes and being open to relationships unfolding naturally
35:18 How physical safety allows her to take big emotional risks during sex
36:48 Self-censorship and the value of privacy
44:36 Discovering the rhythms of a stable relationship and exploring submissive fantasies
48:34 The sexual effects of transitioning from testosterone to estrogen
50:56 Early fact-based book learnings and how her masturbation practices have changed
55:48 Experiencing urgent gender feelings and when she stopped following the heteronormative script of p-in-v sex
59:01 Lesbian "Bed death" and how her first time with another queer partner helped her break sexual patterns
1:03:39 How kink allows her asexual wife to enthusiastically engage in sex
1:07:05 Why she needed to understand her lesbianism before she transitioned
1:10:18 How Buffy the Vampire Slayer inspired her gender journey
1:12:51 Relaxing into the safety of submission: edging, hypnosis, and anal
1:16:12 Her favorite ways to dirty talk and receive impact play
1:20:11 Building stability: artistically, socially, and professionally
1:22:47 Playing with strap-ons and supporting her wife in receiving
1:24:51 The societal importance of loving and helping men
1:28:01 Spreading love with genuine curiosity and small acts of kindness that help people feel chosen
🤩 TOPICS | Anal play, artist identity, authenticity in marriage, body changes on estrogen, book-inspired sexuality, building trust, Buffy the Vampire Slayer inspiration, caregiving in relationships, chosen family, coming out as trans woman, communication in marriage, conscientious care, constant crushes, creative stability, dirty talk, dominance and submission dynamics, emotional intimacy, edging practices, erotic hypnosis, erotic reading habits, fantasy role play, feeling desired, feminist romance novels, finding pleasure after transition, gender euphoria, gender exploration, heteronormativity rejection, impact play, inclusivity in sex, kinky romance, learning about sex through books, lesbian desire, lesbian fantasies, lesbian sexuality, love languages, masturbation evolution, mutual pleasure, nurturing dominance, old sci-fi fandom, partner communication, physical safety during sex, polyamory curiosity, prioritizing romance, queer desire, queer intimacy, re-learning pleasure, relationship stability, role-playing games, romantic gestures, safe submission, science fiction and sexuality, self-censorship, self-discovery, self-expression through kink, self-love, sensual communication, sexual boundaries, sexual exploration, sexual growth in marriage, sexual healing, sexual openness, sexual safety, sexual self-awareness, sexually inclusive marriage, shared fantasy, solo pleasure, stability through creativity, submissive fantasies, supportive partnership, tenderness in kink, testosterone to estrogen transition, thoughtful dominance, TTRPG creativity, trust and gratitude, understanding lesbian identity, urgent gender feelings, vulnerability in sex, wife worship, writing as self-reflection.
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