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I was practically raised by 1980s sitcoms. My babysitters were four Golden Girls, a talking car, and a bartender named Sam who never wore a tie but always had life advice. And honestly? They did a better job than most licensed professionals today.

This was the golden age of fake families solving real problems in 22 minutes—with hugs, hijinks, and no visible bathrooms. Back then, a “very special episode” meant someone learned a hard lesson… and you learned not to skip a Thursday night. The stakes were high. Someone might run away, OD, or worse—kiss their cousin.

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