Do you ever find yourself thinking, “Why is she being so difficult?”
If so, you’re in the right place — and you’re definitely not alone.
I’m Flora McCormick, Licensed Professional Counselor and Early Childhood Mental Health Consultant- and in this episode I’m sharing a powerful reframe that brings so much relief in those tough moments:
Instead of asking “Why is she acting out?” shift to “What is she having a hard time with?”
This one question changes the whole tone of the interaction and helps kids listen far more easily.
Inside this episode, you’ll hear:
• What defiance really looks and sounds like in ages 3–10
• Why gentle parenting can accidentally slip into permissive parenting
• My simple 3-step “Calm → Connect → Direct” script that works without yelling or endless explaining
• How to validate feelings while still holding firm boundaries
• How to use when/then statements and two-choice follow-throughs to stop power struggles
• The easiest way to avoid lecture loops and over-talking
• Three real-life scenarios (bedtime, leaving the park, sibling fights) with the exact words I use in my own home and with clients
If you’re craving Positive Parenting Strategies that actually work in the heat of the moment — not just in theory — this episode will feel like a breath of fresh air.
You’ll walk away with tools for:
Press play and discover how a simple shift and a simple script can transform the hardest moments into calmer, more connected ones.
✨Want more?
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✨NEW✨ pdfs and short video lessons on Respect, Bedtimes, Power Struggles and More: ON ETSY!
✨Download theFREE pdf. on getting kids to listen, for strategies that take you out of the "gentle mom - monster mom" cycle, with effective positive parenting strategies.
✨ Sign up for an upcoming LIVE ONLINE workshop with Flora, or purchase a past replay: https://sustainableparenting.com/workshop where you get 30 min. of learning and 30 min. of LIVE Q & A time, with replays sent afterwards.
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