When we say that this was a novel crossword, we are not telling stories ... but Alex Eaton-Salners, the author of today's crossword is, in a dazzling cruciverbalistic tour de force. You can see the entire story, er, crossword, right here, and you can hear our take on it by downloading right ⬇️ or ⬆️ or ⬅️ or ➡️ 😀
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