I was surfing on the coast of Chile thinking about the pain of feeling like I wouldn't live up to my potential, and it got too dark to see, so I took one last wave, got absolutely pounded by it, and rode in on my stomach. Walking the half mile back barefoot, rinsing my feet with the water bottle I'd left out to warm up, shaking out my towel to check for spiders, it hit me in the shower that the misaligned actions were only part of what hurt. The rest of it was how I treated myself afterward, because back then I mistook being hard on myself for accountability. That looks like it works for a little while, and then you watch YouTube instead of doing your homework, feel terrible about wasting the time, and soothe that feeling with more YouTube. What actually changed things was the opposite, taking every one of those self-shaming statements and turning it into something I learned about myself, which is what I'd call compassionate accountability.
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Stoked,
Flint
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