What’s keeping me awake? Literally everything! I can’t figure out what I want to watch, read, listen to? What podcast to watch? What to eat or what to wear? Am I hungry? If so, for what? I finally make a decision , after overthinking for an hour. Then change my mind 10 minutes in to doing whatever took me an hour to decide. I am incredibly overstimulated.
Life seems to be moving in the right direction? I am happy and excited. I’m far less stressed than usual. Which freaks me out and the reason I can’t sleep.
If I let my guard down and relax, things will crash. If I get comfortable and let my guard down… BOOM! Life will remind me of how cruel it can be. I feel I need to quite literally, keep one eye open at night.
Then I obsess on time flying, death, how words are formed and the fact I’m certifiably nuts! It’s a whole thing.
So, here we are. Middle of the night, impromptu podcast. Why not?
