Conflict doesn’t mean something’s wrong with your family. It simply means everyone’s needs actually matter. We sat down with clinical child psychologist and mindfulness teacher Dr. Peter Muttminy to unpack how everyday clashes can become moments of learning, connection, and real growth. From preschoolers who need clear limits, to elementary kids obsessed with fairness, to teens chasing identity and belonging, we outline what changes at each stage and how to respond with a mix of warmth, structure, and skill.
Together we break down the Nonviolent Communication framework into four steps you can use tonight: name what happened without judgment, recognize the feelings below the surface, connect to core needs on both sides, and make a specific, doable request. We pair that with active listening that avoids the empathy-killing “but,” and a practical “reflect and redirect” move that helps kids reach their own goals while meeting your boundaries. When emotions run hot, we talk about calling a respectful timeout, not as punishment, but as a reset, followed by a quick huddle to set a better plan.
Most importantly, we reframe discipline as teaching. The aim isn’t compliance for today; it’s self-regulation for life. By shifting from manager to consultant as kids grow, you help them internalize values, make wiser choices, and recover faster from mistakes through honest repair. If you’ve ever wondered how to keep authority and still build trust, this conversation offers clear language, concrete examples, and compassionate structure to calm conflict and strengthen your bond.
If this episode helped, follow the show, share it with a friend who’s in the thick of family negotiations, and leave a quick review to help more caregivers find these tools. Your small actions create big ripples.
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This podcast is brought to you by Jana Marie Foundation and A Mindful Village.
Jana Marie Foundation is a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization located in State College, Pennsylvania which harnesses the power of creative expression and dialogue to spark conversations build connections, and promote mental health and wellbeing among young people and their communities. Learn more at Jana Marie Foundation.
A Mindful Village is Dr. Peter Montminy's private consulting practice dedicated to improving the mental health of kids and their caregivers. Learn more at A Mindful Village | Holistic Mental Health Care for Kids.
Music created by Ken Baxter.
(c) 2025. Jana Marie Foundation. All Rights Reserved.
This podcast was developed in part under a grant number SM090046 from the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA), U.S. Department of Health and Human Services (HHS). The views, policies, and opinions expressed are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect those of SAMHSA, HHS or the Pennsylvania Department of Human Services.
