Send Cathy a text:)
How often have you heard the words: Grant yourself grace. Cut yourself some slack. It’s ok to love yourself.
- Being kind to yourself when you dropped the ball on something you normally would have done easily
- Being kind to yourself even if you neglected your own self-care
- Being courteous to your loved one and letting go of the frustrations knowing you're doing the best you can
- Learning to allow yourself to let go of the things you fall short of accomplishing
- Loving yourself and your spouse despite our faults
- Forgiveness for yourself and your loved one in the face of times of anger or resentful
- Allowing yourself to release that guilt for taking a mental health day.
Grace means:
- approval, favor stayed in his good graces,
- archaic : mercy, pardon
- a special favor : privilege
- disposition to or an act or instance of kindness, courtesy, or clemency
- a temporary exemption : reprieve
As a caregiver you may feel overwhelmed, depressed and alone. This is where grace comes in. Grace is giving yourself the stamp of approval, showing yourself kindness, granting yourself clemency, finding reprieve.
Giving yourself grace is a choice. Giving yourself grace is an art and it takes practice. Giving yourself grace can heal and bring you peace.
It’s a mindset shift. Especially in your caregiving season, it’s important to adopt a grace mindset
- Don't be perfect, be real. The goal is to not be perfect, but be genuine. Be real.
- Mess up, but don't let yourself feel bad. It's OK to admit you were wrong, but don't let the guilt eat you alive.
- Give yourself permission to not do everything.
- Never feel selfish for taking "me" time.
- Do one thing a day you're proud of. Find mini wins.
Whatever grace looks like for you, give it to yourself. If you are feeling stressed, overwhelmed, stretched, fatigued, or angry. Take a step back and think about the situation. What could you do to grant yourself grace. Did you need to fill that to do list so heavy today? You made a mistake - you are human. What caused that mistake? You didn’t do it on purpose.
Bottom line, don't sweat the small stuff. Give yourself permission, grace, love and light - because you deserve it.
I think Grace and the way you extend grace to yourself comes with setting your own expectations and healthy boundaries, understanding your challenges / reality and understanding your loved one.
- Take some time and asking what are you expecting of yourself in this moment. Really journaling this all out. Going back to just what we talked about - you are not perfect. But I also want you to reflect on your people pleasing skills Take the quiz. https://www.cathylvan.com/quiz
- How can I set healthy boundaries and allow grace to fill my soul. Lose the guilt for others helping or your loved one is inconvenienced by you not being there or lonely.
- Understanding very clearly your entire situation and your loved one. The disease, the emotions, the feelings, the triggers, Everything. Because I think you and I may own things we don’t need to own.
Hope in some way that I have been able to give you hope and that you can give yourself grace through this process. You’ll find you’ll make a better caregiver!
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