Caregiving can be compared to the winter season. The first snowfall of the season feels new. You get excited and are looking out the window. There is something beautiful about the white precipitation covering the treats, ground and roof tops. You put on the boots, new sweaters, scarves and coats. Even shoveling the driveway and sidewalks are fun. Kids are outside.The dog is running around and rolling in it.
You can think the same way about being a new caregiver. When you get the sudden title of caregiver or it happens over time, those first parts of taking on that role can be compared to that snowfall. Everything is new and feels easy. You don’t mind doing the errands, nursing, doctor’s appointments and taking care of your loved ones. You may not like cancer, lupus, diabetes, kidney disease or whatever is controlling your loved ones health.
The winter cold and snow usually start in December. It’s nice to have the snow during the holiday season. There is a winter peace, relaxation and hibernation time - fireplaces, cozy blankets, movies and warm beverages.
As caregivers, we start settling in too. We find that routine, ways to make the best of it and are starting to accept this new reality. There is a beautiful love and gift in taking care of your loved one.
Winter in January/February sets in. The snow is no longer exciting. It just keeps piling up, Driving is a challenge. Skies are always gray. Trees are dormant. Days are short. You have to layer up on clothes. Heating bills are very high. Cabin Fever sets in. You are feeling the Winter Blues.
As caregivers, the cabin fever can set in very fast too. Feeling lonely, missing your friends, missing time outside the house, feeling disconnected from the outside world and more.
You can choose to feel bored, stuck or lonely or find ways to make the best of the cabin fever. Caregiving brings its own winter blues - sadness, depression, feelings of stuck and overwhelm, finding ways reduce and release the stress and anxiety is necessary and more. If you don’t the winter blues will snowball.
Reality sets in and you start feeling the pinch. What is it for you - emotions, finances, time?
Mid winter, many folks(aka snow birds) plan a trip south to just soak in some sun and warmth. Breaking up the winter, helps us recharge. Same goes for caregiving - respite care or taking time away.
The winter months go on and on and on When my Dad lost his fight to pancreatic cancer, we had a major snow storm on April 17. Just when you think Spring is coming it’s continues on and on. You can feel the emotions and frustrations with more snow, slush and cold. In major storms , you can lose power, schools close, cars get stuck and the world seems like it stops.
This caregiving journey can feel like the dead of winter and the snow keeps coming and coming. Frustration, anger, resentment and fear, just to name a few. Things can be heavy and you may even lose hope. It’s unfortunately part of this caregiver role. But I have found ways to dig myself out or slowly get back on track.
We can’t control the caregiver snow. But we have to find ways to work through it, embrace the small things and find joy in the journey.
There is beauty in every snowfall. The sticky snow where it stays on the tree branch. The bright sun reflecting off the snow, seeing the steam coming from the roof tops and the icicles
You make the best of your situation.
