Today’s shift is this, pivoting your mind to let things go.
Before we understand the steps to letting go, we have to understand why we hold on:
Some people have trouble letting go of their pain or other unpleasant emotions about their past because they think those feelings are part of their identity. In some ways, you may not know who you are without your pain. This makes it impossible to let go. For example, in my own life, I defined myself by my eating disorder because I had it for 10 years - it was all I knew.
When it comes to letting go of grief, loss, pain, hurt, people, situations, etc., I have found there to be 3 key, effective steps:
1) Cry - Let the physical be congruent with the psychological. Make sure your mind and your body are feeling the feels, and take the appropriate time to let it out. Honor your loss. Trying to ignore your negative emotions will extend your suffering. Loss is difficult to experience, and it’s okay to allow yourself to hurt and be sad. Let yourself feel, and go through the grief process so that you can move forward.
2) Free Your Mind - Free yourself from being controlled by what other people think. Start to prioritize how you feel about yourself. As Mahatma Gandhi said, “Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.” You can’t live by your values if you’re living for the approval of others.
3) Forgive and Forget - Resentment and unwillingness to forgive will keep you locked in the past and prevent you from moving forward with your life. Remember: When you forgive, you aren’t doing it for the other person; you’re doing it for yourself. If for no other reason than that, forgive and let go.
4) Realize You're perfect - Carl Jung said, “I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become.” There’s a lesson in that for all of us: Try to let go of whatever it is that’s holding you back from experiencing yourself. You’ll probably realize that you are not what other people say you are. You are not your pain, your past, or your emotions. It’s the negative ideas about ourselves and our hurtful self-talk that get in the way of who we really want to be.
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