In 2017, Peter looked his therapist in the eye and told her joy doesn't exist.
"You can be happy," he said, "but joy isn't a thing."
Two days into his first retreat with us in Mexico, our 18-month-old daughter laughed at a breakfast table, and he nearly lost it. He came back from journaling a couple of hours later and said: "That was joy. I almost didn't know that was an emotion."
Peter is a retired Canadian veteran: 23-plus years in the military, including signals intelligence and time embedded with the Canadian Special Operations Regiment.
He came to the retreat not looking for transformation. He just wanted to learn to microdose so he could manage his anger and depression without going back on SSRIs.
What happened instead was the beginning of one of the most complete recoveries we've witnessed: from sleeping three to five hours a night and holes punched in walls, to seven to eight hours of sleep, a gratitude practice, pastel pencils, and plans for Japan and Turkey.
In this episode, we talk about what it actually means to develop a relationship with plant medicine over time, how Peter's anger, rooted in a childhood of constant moves and new schools, finally stopped being the thing he had to white-knuckle around.
We talk about the ayahuasca ceremony in Costa Rica where he finally accepted his hip replacement after ten years of fighting it. We also talk about rebuilding motivation from self-love instead of shame or anger.
This one's for anyone who needs a reminder that 13 months is long enough to change your whole life.
Thanks again for listening!
Enrollment is open right now for our Mindful Microdosing Program, which has helped 250+ veterans, first responders, and trauma survivors overcome anxiety, depression, and PTSD.
Visit https://www.becomingom.org/coaching for all the info and to get in touch with us.
Or DM us the word INTERESTED on Instagram.
