Is your spouse actually listening to what you say, or have they shut you out?
Do they (or you):
• pick up their phone while you are talking to them
• change the subject to something off-topic
• turn away
• get up and leave
• defend themselves in an attempt to end the conversation
• spend lots of time away from the home avoiding conversation
If you said "'yes" to any of these, then you might be what John Gottman calls "stonewalling" your partner or getting stonewalled.
In normal conversation, we engage with each other by making eye contact, showing interest by nodding or asking clarifying questions; stonewalling is not conversation or engagement; it is avoidance, withdrawal, and disengagement.
Stonewalling indicates an unwillingness to work on relationship differences which is crucial to the success of the marriage and often can have the other person feeling neglected or abused.
This week on AwakenYou in your marriage, I help you create awareness around this way of disengaging, no matter what side of the "stone wall" you are on, to start breaking down this marriage barrier. Once you get some clarity, you can begin self-correcting and bring what you want to your marriage: connection, understanding, shared meaning, and intimacy.
Episodes referenced in this episode:
Bids For Connection Ep 40
Your Response Matters: Bids For Connection Ep 41
Creating Better Marital Communication By Considering The Start-Up Ep 45
Your Marriage's Emotional Bank Account Ep 39
Emotional Regulation In Your Marriage Ep 35
Self-Soothe To A Happier Marriage Ep 38
My free Relationship Abundance Mini-Course
CBS News Interview: 6 Tips For A Healthy & Loving Relationship
Unlock deeper connection in your marriage with my free guide, Daily Prompts for Deeper Connection with Your Spouse—get it now!
Start feeling more connected and loved in your marriage today with my free Reclaim More Love in Just 3 Days process. This process will have you learning how to shift your focus, in a healthy way, and nurture thoughts that build connection and transform how you feel about your marriage.
More resources and how you can start the process of Awakening(YourTrue)You and being the partner who creates your best version of what marriage looks like for you: https://christinebongiovanni.com/
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