What if the parts of yourself you've been trying to get rid of actually hold the key to your healing? In this heart-opening conversation, relationship experts Dean and HollyKem Sunseri reveal the transformative power of recognizing, naming, and loving all aspects of yourself – even the parts that feel broken or protective.
After 33 years of marriage and decades helping couples heal, the Senseris share with refreshing transparency how they've moved from being emotional "takers" to "givers" in their relationship. Holly Kim bravely discusses her journey from addiction, felony convictions, and suicidal thoughts to profound self-acceptance, while Dean reveals how men can become "powerfully vulnerable" – simultaneously strong and heart-connected.
Their framework for understanding our different internal "selves" offers listeners a practical way to make sense of conflicting emotions. Rather than being confused by contradictory feelings, we can recognize when our "protective self" (which Holly Kim humorously compares to Beth Dutton from Yellowstone) is trying to shield our wounded parts from further pain.
The conversation takes a particularly powerful turn when addressing forgiveness. The Senseris make a crucial distinction between forgiveness and boundaries, explaining why freeing your heart from resentment doesn't mean maintaining unhealthy relationships. As Dean notes, "Forgiveness has to do with recognizing that I've been offended and hurt by things done to me, and I'm willing to lay that down on the altar so my heart can be restored."
Whether you're struggling in a relationship, dealing with past trauma, or simply seeking more authentic connection, this episode offers profound yet practical wisdom for turning pain into growth. As the Senseris emphasize, your voice matters – and when you don't talk out your emotions, you'll inevitably act them out. Ready to begin your own healing journey?
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