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Episode 129 - Punishment and Retaliation – Losing Strategy #4
The fourth losing relationship strategy is Punishment and retaliation. This can show up in covert and overt ways, but at its core, we turn ourselves into a victim of the other person and we are then feeling justified in withholding approval and affection, or even punishing in a physically harmful way.
We are designed for human connection, and we are designed to want our independence and agency. The problem is we don’t know how to get both of those things at the same time. We either give up our independence or we cut ourselves off from others.
To begin working on correcting this losing strategy, ask yourself the following questions:
1. When was the last time I withheld affection or approval from someone I love?
2. How did I feel after I did that?
3. What was I trying to get?
4. Did I get what I wanted?
If you want to begin learning some winning relationship strategies, register for my upcoming class:
Healthy Relationships from the Inside Out
March 21, 11:00am MDT
If you don’t want to wait for the class, schedule a Strategy Call with me. This is a one-time introductory coaching call, not a sales call. We’ll spend about an hour discussing your issue and you’ll leave with at least one, probably two or three strategies to begin using in your relationship
CLICK HERE to set up your call
Tina Gosney is the Family Conflict Coach. She works with parents who have families in conflict to help them become the grounded, confident leaders their family needs.
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If you want support putting what you’re learning into practice, come join The Connection Community in Bridge to Connection. You’ll get step-by-step relationship lessons, practical tools to calm anxiety and reduce conflict, and live monthly coaching calls to help you stay steady and build real connection with your child—especially when things feel tense. Learn more and join at https://www.courageous-connections.com/bridge-to-connection3
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Tina is certified in family relationships and a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information on coaching services.
