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Ever feel like you’re having the same fight on repeat—one of you craving more presence at home while the other longs to be seen for carrying the load at work? We dig beneath schedules and sarcasm to the two fears that quietly run many relationships: the fear of abandonment and the fear of rejection. Once those fears are named, the real hopes come into view: being wanted and being accepted by the person who matters most.
We walk through a vivid couple story—Shannon and Jake—to show how stress flips partners into protection mode. Then we trace where these patterns often start: performance-heavy childhoods that make acceptance feel conditional, and unpredictable bonding that makes closeness feel fragile. We also call out unhelpful gender scripts that told some of us provision should be enough and told others that being emotional is only for women. Healthier partnerships allow both people to bring their full selves—work, feelings, needs, and all—without penalty.
From there, we lay out a clear process to pivot from conflict to connection. You’ll learn how to speak your fear without attacking, validate the hope your partner is guarding, and design practical, bite-sized rituals that soothe the exact worry in the room. We share a ready-to-use repair script, plus concrete ideas like daily micro check-ins, appreciation habits that matter to the “rejection” partner, and scheduling anchors that reassure the “abandonment” partner. The goal isn’t perfection; it’s becoming messengers of hope for each other so fear doesn’t get the final say.
If this conversation helps, follow the show, share it with a friend who might need it, and leave a quick rating or review so more couples can find their way from conflict to connection.
Do you want to learn about the one thing we think every individual and couple needs to know for healthy communication and connection? Check out our course Attachment Theory: Why It Matters To Your Relationship: https://couplescounselingforparents.mykajabi.com/attachment-course-ccfp
Get 15% off our course--Attachment Theory: Why It Matters To Your Relationship: https://couplescounselingforparents.mykajabi.com/offers/MGiJwHLf?coupon_code=ATTACHMENT15
Want some personalized help (individual or couple). Schedule a free coaching consultation here: https://calendly.com/ccfp/meet-the-mitchells
Get your copy or audiobook of Too Tired to Fight today!: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/059371427X
Interested in one of Erin's postpartum groups? Let us know at info@couplescounselingforparents.com
