In this episode of That Big CEO Energy, I share why I don’t believe you’re “reactive” as a personality trait—you’re unpracticed at pausing. I break down how our brains chase familiarity, fill in gaps with assumptions, and move too fast from feeling to acting, then I share how therapy and my relationship with my daughter taught me to build capacity by creating space before responding so I can choose what happens next.
You’ll learn:
- Why reaction is a rehearsed pattern (not your identity) and how your brain defaults to what feels familiar
- What the pause actually looks like in real life (texts, emails, heated conversations) without needing to be perfectly calm
- How creating a small gap between trigger and action helps you lead yourself with clarity instead of spiraling
Timestamps:
01:03 Why We React
02:41 Reaction Isn’t Identity
03:58 Your Brain Seeks Familiar
06:34 Therapy and Motherhood Loop
09:42 Building the Pause Skill
12:53 Practical Pause Examples
15:42 Pause as Leadership
18:11 Real Life Scripts
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