DEALING WITH RELATIONAL DRIFT
Marriage Rescue - Part 6
Senior Pastor Keith Stewart
September 4, 2022
Modern aircraft have an autopilot. It’s an excellent feature that allows pilots to complete other tasks while flying. But autopilot was never intended to be used for the entire duration of the flight. Sometimes our marriage gets put on autopilot. Maybe it’s a busy season or you’re having your first baby or you’re tending to a health crisis with a family member. Whatever the reason, it’s good that our relationships can sometimes be placed on autopilot to allow us to focus on other things. But marriages can’t run on autopilot indefinitely - too long can cause partners to feel abandoned. Though it does not cause affairs, it creates environments in which affairs can and do happen. This final message will deal honestly with our vulnerability to infidelity.
SERIES: Marriage Rescue
In this series, Pastor Keith will share out of his 40-year relationship with Brenda the keys to helping a couple move from status quo to spectacular – pointing out the stumbling blocks and stepping stones in achieving healthy, mutually-satisfying relationships.
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
1.) Have you ever put a relationship on autopilot in order to attend to more pressing matters? What was it that was needing your time, attention or energy? Was your mate understanding? How long did that season last? Did things just go back to normal after that demanding season of your life or were there things you did to intentionally reconnect?
2.) Pastor Keith talked about three things that make us more vulnerable to an affair;
Unfulfilled Expectations
Unexpressed Emotions
Unaccountable Relationships
Of the three factors, where do you feel strongest and where do you feel weakest? What can you/will you do to shore up areas of weakness? What can you share with others regarding what you’ve learned from your area of strength?
3.) The following two points fell closely together in Pastor Keith’s message;
Characteristics of a good confession;
• It names the wrong
• It acknowledges it was wrong
• It doesn’t try to explain unless asked.
Three levels of confession;
“I’m sorry, I was caught.”
“I’m sorry, I was wrong.”
“I’m sorry for what I caused.”
Talk about your experience with others around those defining characteristics of confession. Have the people you have known been good at making good and honest confessions? Why or why not? How about you? When you have to own up to a failure, would you say these are the things that characterize your confessions?
4.) Dr. Victor Pentz described our 9 to 5 life and our routines with the one we love as the straight life. There is a certain level of predictability and routine to our lives that sometimes creates a sense of boredom when we’re really craving excitement and romance. Dr. Pentz then described how often this becomes the catalyst for leaving our partner in search of what we lack in the straight life. But the reality is, all relationships eventually return to the straight life because there is a level of routine to everything we do. But, we don’t have to go off in search of adventure and romance in the embrace of another, we can have that with the one we are with right now. It takes time, intentionality, and a willingness to try new things that break up the routine or boredom. What are some things you would recommend to others that put the spark or life into your relationship?
5.) What was your biggest takeaway from this message? How did that affirm you? Correct you? Inform you? Guide you? Encourage you?
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