FACING YOUR RELATIONAL BAGGAGE
Marriage Rescue - Part 2
Senior Pastor Keith Stewart
August 7, 2022
There are some topics churches never address or when they do, they do so poorly. Abuse, abandonment, boundary violations, rejection and hurt are a part of the life experience of so many. Those experiences load us up with baggage that we then carry into every subsequent relationship. This weekend, we’re talking honestly and candidly about these realities and how to deal with them. Pray that God will use our time together as a new beginning for those weighed down by life’s hurts.
SERIES: Marriage Rescue
It’s a hugely popular show on the Paramount Network and it’s called Bar Rescue. Jon Taffer, who has more than 40 years of experience in the business, offers his no-nonsense straight talk to struggling bar owners to help save their business and put them back on the road to success. What if a little no-nonsense straight talk about what it takes to build a healthy relationship could actually save our marriage and gets us back on the road to success? In this new series, Pastor Keith will share out of his 40-year relationship with Brenda the keys to help a couple move from status quo to spectacular – pointing out the stumbling blocks and steppingstones in achieving healthy, mutually-satisfying relationships.
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
Having good boundaries is essential to happy and healthy relationships. Boundaries are all about limits – the ability to say “no” or “stop”. Were you allowed, as a child, to say “no” or “stop” when you weren’t comfortable, didn’t want to hug or kiss a family member or friend, or didn’t like how you were being treated? If you said “no”, did you feel like that no was respected and that it didn’t result in the withdrawal of love from your parents.
2. Why are boundaries so important in relationship? Have you ever been manipulated into saying yes to something you didn’t really want to do? How did that make you feel?
3. Physical and emotional abuse is real and affects a lot of people in ways you might not ever know or expect. Here are examples of physical and emotional abuse.
4. Physical abuse is the intentional use of physical force that can result in physical injury. Examples include hitting, kicking, shaking, burning, or other shows of force.
5. Emotional abuse refers to behaviors that harm a child’s self-worth or emotional well-being. Examples include name-calling, shaming, rejecting, withholding love, and threatening.
6. Sexual abuse involves pressuring or forcing a child to engage in sexual acts. It includes behaviors such as fondling, penetration, and exposing a child to other sexual activities.
7. Had this ever happened to you or someone you know? What long-term effects happen as a result of this sort of treatment? If you became aware that this was happening to a child or a spouse, would you feel responsible to intervene? Report it to the police? Direct a spouse to a trusted professional or shelter for those fleeing domestic violence? What resources are you aware of that exist in the community to help those who’ve been abused?
8. So many have known a steady stream of rejection throughout their formative years. They were constantly made aware of their deficiencies and never felt like they mattered to those who mattered most to them. Needless to say, a lack of acceptance can be profoundly wounding. If we didn’t receive this from those who mattered most to us, the need for acceptance doesn’t go away, it just gets re-directed in other ways. What are some of the ways people try to find acceptance? Does that work for them? Why or why not?
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