TO HELL AND BACK
Marriage Rescue - Part 1
Senior Pastor Keith Stewart
July 31, 2022
There are few areas of life where expectations ride higher than in marriage and there are few areas of life where expectations are more routinely dashed than in marriage. Let’s face it, no one is immune to problems in relationships. It happens even in the best of marriages. But we need to understand why we have relationship struggles and what to do about them. In this message, Pastor Keith will draw upon his own experience, Scripture, and years of therapy to inject hope into otherwise hopeless situations and give direction to those who truly desire healthy and mutually satisfying relationships.
SERIES: Marriage Rescue
It’s a popular show on the Paramount Network and it’s called Bar Rescue. Jon Taffer, who has more than 40 years of experience in the business, offers his no-nonsense straight talk to struggling bar owners to help save their business and put them back on the road to success. In this new series, Pastor Keith will share out of his 40-year relationship with Brenda the keys to help a couple move from status quo to spectacular – pointing out the stumbling blocks and steppingstones in achieving healthy, mutually-satisfying relationships.
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:
2. Talk about your family of origin. What did you learn about relationships, love, dealing with conflict, decision-making, from watching your parent’s relationship?
3. Pastor Keith talked about expectations and in particular, the expectation that our mate will match our effort in all things. Besides being unrealistic, it shifts our focus onto our mate and turns us into score-keepers. We no longer think about what we’re giving (or failing to give), our only focus is on what we’re not getting. Has this ever happened to you? What was expectation and how was it not being met? Were you ever able to find a solution to it?
4. Differences both draw us to others and repel us. We are fascinated by those who think differently, feel differently, act differently. There’s a definite attraction in it. But the flip side is, at some point in the relationship, those very same differences become an irritant. Has this ever happened to you? During the grand reversal, how did that play out? Did you ever come to a point of resolution or acceptance? If so, describe what that was like.
5. In the message today, Pastor Keith pointed out that there are two underlying problems that destroy relationships:
• We are all wounded.
• We are all selfish.
How in touch are you with your wounding? If you feel safe in doing so, share some aspect of your wounding where you have received or are receiving healing?
6. In terms of selfishness, Pastor Keith mentioned, “The greatest obstacle in building truly great relationships is justified self-centeredness.” There are times when we justify and excuse our own behavior because our needs are not being met. Selfishness works against relationship more than practically any other thing. Where or how do you struggle with being selfish?
7. To seek help is a sign of maturity. None of us has everything we need in ourselves. This is why we were created for relationship. We really do need one another. Has there ever been an issue in your life where you felt compelled to reach out for help? What was that like? Did you get the help you needed? What did you learn? What would you say to someone who is afraid to go see a therapist or talk to a pastor about a personal or relational issue?
