Monday, 29 May
I can hardly behave what I have just heard. It is late morning of the fourth of our recent Great British Bank Holidays, part of a scheme by the Govt intended to distract the voters from unpopular economic news.
I am approaching a little group of friends outside a local deli in Didsbury, across the road from the famous northern tennis club. Even from a distance, it is clear that something serious has happened. Instead of lively chatter, I could detect only a mood of agitation as I approached.
What’s up, I asked cheerfully. They looked around, as if fearful they might be overheard. I pulled up a chair beside them. No one could look me in the eyes. Eventually, it was Rahul who broke the silence.
‘ There’s been a complaint', he said.
'Against whom? I ask.
His answer stunned me.
‘Against us.’
‘What? How? Why?’
‘Complaints have been made about our behaviour to the Deli’
Judie broke in, ‘It seems there has been an objection about the way we dominate the seating arrangements here, staying for two hours preventing anyone else getting a place'.
‘You mean the way English people complain about German tourists hogging the seats by the pool with their hotel towels?’
‘Something like that, But worse’ Rahul added. ‘It’s about what we talk about.
‘We talk about all sorts of things, I protest. ‘What’s on the news, football, what we have been doing since we last met’ I paused. ‘And politics. Was it something about politics?’
Rahul nodded. ‘The complaint specifically mentioned Brexit’.
I groaned. The word that dare not speak its name. This is serious. I remember seeing an email to my friend Keven sent from a newsletter coming from a pressure group called Make Brexit Great Again. It read ‘Members are reminded never to use the word Brexit in public as it may draw attention to you and your political preferences’
Our innocent group is under attack from malevolent forces. It all begins to make sense ...
Listen on for what happened next
TR
