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@TollytB
I've just been chatting to my neighbour, and he thinks his wife is a kleptomaniac.
"She should take something for it."

@deelomas
My husband just called to say he saw a fox on his way to work. 
I asked him how he knew the fox was on his way to work. 
He hung up on me…

Visual wit from @RookieRedhead
First cartoon
Buddha surrounded by acolytes
Acolytes: what makes us human?
Second cartoon
Buddha to acolytes 
Selecting all images with traffic lights....