“Act Like Men” Template
Podcast Show Notes
How to Address Anger?
SO WHAT
So what does the bible say about anger – as Christ followers, we use the Bible as our
standard by which to evaluate all things:
Proverbs 14:17: A quick-tempered man acts foolishly, and a man of wicked intentions is hated.
Proverbs 14:29: if you stay calm, you are wise, but if you have a hot temper you will only show how unwise or foolish you are.
Proverbs 29:11: Fools vent their anger, but the wise quietly hold it back.
Ephesians 4:26-27: In your anger, do not sin. Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry and do not give the devil a foothold.
What are some observations from these verses:
- A quick temper that is acted upon can cause us to make foolish decisions.
- Encouraged to stay calm, even when we feel anger.
- We can be considered wise, by holding back on venting our anger.
- We will be angry – it cannot be avoided – we need to deal with it soon, so it does not
take a foothold in our life.
How big is this issue with Christian men?
In all of the surveys of men that we do with churches, the need to be able to live a godly life without negatively impacting others or me with my anger is always at the top of the list.
Christian men – many of who have been Christians for a long time, still deal with explosive and potentially toxic areas.
NOW WHAT
What can we do about this potentially destructive issue in our lives?
Thoughts to Consider:
Ask God to help you with your anger and release you from whatever is triggering this
strong emotion in your being. Recognize that it is in you – the anger is on you
regardless of the negative situation that may be causing this strong emotion.
Ask God for the ability to come to grips with this very heated emotion in your life.
Ask God to help you confess your anger, rather than defend yourself through anger.
Ask someone else to be your accountability partner that you will be open and honest
with and call them when something is about to blow up.
Practical Tips:
1. Think before you speak. Often when we are overheated, we end up saying things we
regret. Sometimes the best response is a very limited one until we get a handle on what is causing us to be so angry.
2. Express yourself in “I” statements rather than “you” statements. You statements are
pointing the finger at them as the problem, rather than taking responsibility for your
emotions. For example, say, "I'm upset that you left the table without offering to help
with the dishes" instead of "You never do any housework."
3. Present solutions, not just the problem with negative emotion. Instead of focusing on what made you mad, work on resolving the issue at hand.
4. Don’t hold a grudge. Forgiveness is a powerful antidote to anger. Keeping in mind, we violated every possible relationship opportunity with God before we came to God, so as He has forgiven us, let us not be the judge and jury for others.
5. Know that you may need some help to get past your anger. There are many avenues
to get help, from support groups for anger, anger management classes, Christian
counselors, and pastors. All of these can be good starting places to understand what is
needed to move past unrelenting, explosive anger.
We will never be Anger free – how can we shift the focus away from the anger and focus on What would faith look like right now instead of anger?
*Much of the information in this Podcast was taken from Dr. Jim Grassi’s Booklet on Anger, also contained in the book, Overcoming Barriers Men Face.
These two resources along with many others can be found at:
www.mensministrycatalyst.org/resources
