In this episode, Kayleigh dives into a topic we don’t talk about enough: partner and family trauma after birth. Birth trauma doesn’t just impact the birthing person; it can deeply affect the non-birthing partner and the entire family system. From helplessness in the delivery room to tension in relationships afterward, this conversation explores what we know (and what we’re still learning) about how trauma shows up for partners and what healing can look like together.
In this episode, we talk about:
🤝 What partner trauma is—and why it’s not “secondary”
📊 What research says about PTSD rates in non-birthing partners
😔 Feelings of helplessness, guilt, and powerlessness during traumatic births
🧱 Avoidance, shutdown, anger, and “I’m fine” responses after trauma
🔥 “Trauma soup” — when both partners are hurting in different ways
💔 How birth trauma can create distance, resentment, or tension in relationships
🗣️ The mismatch between wanting to talk about it vs. wanting to fix it
👶 Hypervigilance around baby (and birthing parent) after medical emergencies or NICU stays
🌀 Why some partners aren’t traumatized—and how that can feel confusing
⭕ Ring Theory: support in, process out
🛠️ Therapy, transparency, and practical ways to start hard conversations
Why this episode matters:
✨ Partner trauma is real and valid
✨ Birth trauma impacts the whole family system
✨ You can both be hurting—and both deserve support
✨ Healing often requires outside help, not just each other
To hear our previous episodes on partner trauma, listen to Kayleigh and Steve's joint episodes - 101 and 102.
If birth trauma has impacted your relationship, you are not alone. The wedge you feel isn’t a failure—it’s trauma. And with support, understanding, and space for both stories, healing is possible. 🤍
References from this episode:
https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/02646838.2024.2346893#abstract
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC11796141/
https://www.ajog.org/article/S0002-9378%2823%2900713-5/fulltext?utm_source=chatgpt.com
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/35584590/
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC7179006/
For more birth trauma content and a community full of love and support, head to my Instagram at @thebirthtrauma_mama.
Learn more about the support and services I offer through The Birth Trauma Mama Therapy & Support Services.
Disclaimer - The views and opinions expressed by guests on The Birth Trauma Mama Podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the official stance, views, or positions of The Birth Trauma Mama Podcast. The content shared is for informational purposes only and should not be considered as professional or medical advice and/or endorsement.
