Quick recap
The meeting focused on discussing patterns of behavior in ex-partners during divorce, particularly cluster B personality disorders, and strategies for managing such situations. Jude Sandvall shared his experience of enduring physical abuse and navigating the challenges of divorce, including limited parenting time with his children and dealing with his ex-wife's tactics. The group provided advice on securing supervised parenting time, documenting interactions, and finding assertive legal representation, emphasizing the importance of consistent effort and preparation for court proceedings.
Summary
Understanding Cluster B Divorce Patterns
Jude Sandvall and John discussed the patterns of behavior often observed in ex-partners during divorce, particularly focusing on cluster B personality disorders. They emphasized that these behaviors are not temporary but are deeply ingrained, and as one party gains independence, the other may escalate their control tactics. Jude Sandvall highlighted the importance of recognizing these patterns early and suggested that small, incremental changes in behavior can lead to progress over time. The session was designed to help participants identify and understand these signs more quickly, as well as to provide strategies for managing such situations.
Enduring Abuse and Family Struggles
Ankush shared his experience of enduring physical abuse from his wife over a period of 10 months, culminating in a police intervention that resulted in her arrest. Despite being the victim, Ankush left his home due to concerns about his wife's ability to survive independently and the brainwashing of his older daughter, who had stopped respecting him. He expressed deep distress over the situation, including the impact on his relationship with his two daughters, and his struggle with depression and uncertainty about whom to confide in. Jude Sandvall asked about the ages of Ankush's children, but the response was not provided in the transcript.
Divorce and Child Custody Challenges
Ankush discussed his ongoing divorce process and the challenges he faces in gaining access to his two daughters, aged 16 and 8. He explained that his ex-wife has been requesting various assets, including a home, despite his current child support payments. Ankush also shared that he withdrew assault charges against his ex-wife after being pressured by her brother, only for her to press charges against him instead. Jude Sandvall advised Ankush to stop being accommodating and to understand that his ex-wife is not acting in their children's best interest. They discussed the lack of parenting time Ankush has had with his daughters, which has been limited due to his ex-wife's claims of assault charges, despite the charges being withdrawn. Ankush's attorney advised him to accept supervised parenting time as an opportunity, but he expressed his disagreement with this arrangement.
Prioritizing Parenting Time and Legal Support
Jude Sandvall advised Ankush to prioritize securing parenting time with his daughters, emphasizing the need to counteract the brainwashing they may be experiencing with their mother. Ankush expressed concerns about his ex-wife's tactics, including her willingness to cooperate with supervised parenting time and her refusal to consent to family therapy. Jude Sandvall highlighted the common tactic in family law courts of creating perceptions of danger to justify supervised parenting time, urging Ankush to challenge this narrative and seek legal support to reverse the situation.
Securing Parenting Time Strategies
Jude Sandvall advised Ankush to focus on securing supervised parenting time with his daughters, documenting any obstacles encountered, and avoiding therapy at this stage due to potential manipulation by the other parent. John emphasized the importance of consistently scheduling and attending supervised visits, even if the children refuse, to es
