The laughter at the ranch fades when Breanna opens up about loving a first responder through an officer-involved shooting, postpartum turbulence, and the quiet exhaustion of being everyone’s caretaker. She didn’t grow up in the culture, but working in a jail gave her a front-row seat to stress. What she didn’t expect was how much of that stress would follow her home, how isolating the spouse role can be, and how quickly compassion can run dry when you never get to decompress.
We walked through the day, and everything changed. Breanna explains why healing isn’t a finish line; it’s a practice built from small habits that hold under pressure. The turning point came at an SOS retreat for significant others and spouses. She arrived ready to fix her husband and left with something harder and more hopeful: the courage to start with herself. That shift—owning needs, setting boundaries, and communicating clearly—reshaped their marriage and gave their kids a steadier home.
If you’re a first responder partner who feels invisible or stuck waiting for your loved one to “go first,” this conversation offers a map. We share practical tools for decompression, simple check-in rituals, and language that cuts through defensiveness. We also talk about building real community outside the department, from local spouse meetups to future retreats in the Midwest, so no one has to navigate trauma alone. Need support or resources?
Breanna is available at Breanna@10-42project.org or 515-418-0350. If this resonated, subscribe, share with a friend who needs it, and leave a review to help more families find their way back to solid ground.
Reach out to Breanna: Breanna@10-42project.org or 515-418-0350. No one walks alone
If you or someone you know is in crisis and at risk of self-harm, please call or text 988, the suicide and crisis lifeline.
To contact us directly send an email to Dan@10-42project.org or call 515-350-6274
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