This week aaaAAAaaa opens the show and unveils this week’s cocktail—The Angry Star, a sparkly pineapple-rum-chambord-champagne concoction that may or may not contain actual divine fury. Meanwhile, our special guest Esther learns about the divine schedule that temple names come from. Then, Abish hijacks the segment for an unhinged pop culture update that somehow spirals into Severance theories, Patricia Arquette slander, and a very serious discussion about Mr. Milchick’s… ORTBO activities.
Scriptures: [00:25:51]
aaaAAAaaa then bravely deep-dives into the hot mess that is D&C 88, where we learn that Jesus powers the sun, the moon is a woman, the stars are furious, and the earth “rolls upon her wings” like a goth girl at Burning Man. God is giving “please read the handbook before entering the chat” energy.
Church Teachings: [00:53:11]
Abish explores sanctification and how Mormon teachings make literally everything—even your 90s VHS collection—a cosmic battleground between God and Satan. We get Holland’s lightning-strike football resurrection story, VCR paranoia, and the classic LDS message: if you’re not holy, you’re horny, and that’s the devil’s work.
History: [01:22:33]
Abigail returns with Part 3 of the Nazi series, and this one’s got teeth. We meet teenage resistance legend Helmuth Hübener, and we also drag every Mormon who thought Hitler’s vegetarianism meant he was basically doing the Word of Wisdom. It turns out that the Deseret News did compare Nazi charity programs to LDS fast offerings, and yes, we are screaming. Loudly.
So pour something sparkly and sacrilegious, and join us as we unroll the celestial scroll with god's face behind it and yell at the angry stars. This one’s got history, heresy, and high-level flute trauma. Welcome to episode 101, babies.
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