This week, Moroni, Abigail, aaaAAAaaa, and special guest Claudia—kicks off with some classic banter. We dive right into Abish’s escape from her in-laws’ basement and the unexpected treasures that came with her new house. Personal stories about awkward moving experiences follow, sprinkled with cringey LGBTQ+ moments, all delivered with the hosts' signature self-deprecating humor. Oh, and don’t miss out on the cocktail of the day, the irreverently named “The False Prophet”—a cheeky nod to this week’s scripture segment.
Scriptures: [00:18:12]
Things get scripturally shady in this week’s Doctrine and Covenants breakdown. aaaAAAaaa kicks off with the saga of D&C 43 and a certain Mrs. Hubble (no, not the telescope), a wannabe prophetess causing divine drama in early church history. While diving into the details, the hosts riff on "the kiss of charity" and throw shade on faith versus science, because really, who wouldn’t prefer a solid scientific method over faith-based plot twists?
This part wraps up with the pièce de résistance: a Trump-style reimagining of D&C 43, complete with fake news jabs and plenty of “huge” moments. You’ll never read those verses the same way again.
Church Teachings: [00:47:03]
Claudia steers us through the construction of the Mormon Conference Center, where 21,000 butts can sit and pretend they’re not thinking about snacks during those three-hour marathons. The crew cracks jokes about the rooftop garden, volunteer labor, and whether Brigham Young was really planning for an earthquake-proof church. The best part? The relentless roasting of church finances, with plenty of digs at “Hinkels” and all the prophetic spending prophecies. Remember, if it’s expensive and over the top, it’s probably sacred.
History: [01:08:51]
Abigail takes the helm on this one, guiding us through the wild history of General Conference. Did you know the first conference in 1830 had only 27 people? The hosts can’t help but imagine them as marshmallow Peeps, just chilling in their pews. They quickly cover the changes in conference scheduling, including how the whole “first Sunday in April and October” thing didn’t stick until 1977, which leads to the hosts pondering the "unchanging" nature of God… or not.
There’s plenty of nostalgia as they reminisce about attending Priesthood sessions in person before the 2013 broadcast revolution (and the inherent gender exclusivity of it all). The history of the Relief Society conference gets a shout-out too, with the crew poking fun at General Conference being a giant role-play for righteous people. Fun fact: General Conference might as well be called “Gen Con”—bring your best costume!
The episode wraps up with a random yet glorious tangent about the Mormon Tabernacle Choir (sorry, *artist formerly known as MoTab*) and their involvement in Trump's inauguration. But that’s not all—get ready for some scarring pop culture moments as the crew revisits cult classics like *The NeverEnding Story* and *The Dark Crystal*. Oh, and don’t forget the nightmares Heather Graham’s recurring nudity in 90s films gave us.
We’ll also be back with future episodes on KSL, the MoTab’s origin story, and maybe some more cocktail recipes—if we can ever get our act together.
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