This week’s chaos begins with the debut of the *Spiritual Manifestini*, a fall cocktail brimming with pumpkin pie liqueur and graham cracker crust—perfect for sipping while contemplating *Doctrine and Covenants*. Amid tangents about adult Olympic events, Jeff Goldblum’s eternal charm, and Netflix pitches for *No One Wants This*, the hosts set the tone with their usual blend of wit, whimsy, and existential despair.
Scriptures: [00:25:29]
Abish serves up a delightfully irreverent breakdown of *Doctrine and Covenants* 51 and 52. From God micromanaging land distribution like a celestial HR rep to mission assignments hilariously rerouted through Detroit, this segment is a takedown of bureaucratic religion at its finest. Sarcastic quips fly as the hosts compare the instructions to Disneyland line chaos and corporate America, reminding us that sometimes faith is just a "no backsees" agreement with celestial fine print.
Church Teachings: [00:44:54]
Moroni takes the mic to reminisce on Sunday school lessons from *3rd Nephi* and the bittersweet realities of Mormon community dynamics. Things get spicy with a DIY "tithing wheel," spinning stories of billion-dollar malls, family history quotas, and church-funded lawsuits. Highlights include aaaAAAaaa’s institute pool table nostalgia, Moroni’s Proposition 8 reflections, and a fiery mother-son tithing showdown. It’s a cathartic mix of humor, critique, and the longing for a kinder, more inclusive spiritual home.
History: [01:08:01]
Abigail dives headfirst into the 19th-century spiritualist movement, narrating its clash and occasional crossover with Mormonism. From Brigham Young’s righteous rage at the Godbeites' spiritualist-Mormon mashup to Joseph Smith III politely declining their "Diet Mormon" club, it’s a historical soap opera for the ages.
The Church of Zion’s attempt to merge plural marriage with séances is hilariously doomed, and Abigail unpacks how post-Civil War grief drove spiritualism’s popularity. With toe-popping séances, translucent temple jumpsuits, and a teaser for the roaring 1920s, this segment delivers chaos, critique, and a surprising amount of ghost phones.
The episode wraps with a pitch for new merch (because capitalism), a call for listener stories about spiritualism and tithing tragedies, and a farewell hymn dedicated to sleepy Satan. As always, it’s an unpredictable ride blending wit, sarcasm, and just enough nihilism to leave you wanting more.
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