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In this episode, Andy shares a raw and revealing personal story that exposes one of the biggest problems men face today: the emotional freeze response.

After opening up about a traumatic experience to someone close to him, Andy was met with three days of silence. When the reply finally came, it echoed something he’s heard from countless men:

“I overthought what to say… worried about getting it wrong… and avoided it.”

This episode breaks down why even strong, disciplined, high-performing men freeze emotionally — and how this freeze response is not fear, not weakness, but an uninitiated nervous system.

Andy explores:

• the difference between physical and emotional strength,
• why coaches and leaders often fail when emotion enters the room,
• the absence of male initiation in modern culture,
• and how three of the 9 Masks of Adam — The Independent One, The I’m Fine Mask, and The Perfectionist — collapse into silence when life gets real.

If you’ve ever frozen when someone needed you…
 or someone froze when you needed them…
this episode will hit home.

Key Takeaways

• Freeze isn’t fear — it’s immobilisation.
  It’s the nervous system shutting down because it has no map for emotional reality.
• Physical strength doesn’t prepare men for emotional pain.
  You can be trained to fight, but still collapse when faced with grief, conflict, or truth.
• Initiation creates emotional adulthood.
  And as Robert Bly said, men are initiated either by elders… or by life breaking them open.
• The 9 Masks of Adam block emotional presence.
  Especially The Independent One, The I’m Fine Mask, and The Perfectionist — all three collapse into freeze.
• The boy hides. The man stays.
  Freeze shows which one is running your nervous system.

Timestamps

00:00 — Why this episode matters now
01:22 — The story: sharing trauma and receiving silence
04:45 — “I overthought it and avoided it” — the male condition
06:02 — Freeze is immobilisation, not fear
07:50 — The trained fighter who collapses emotionally
09:10 — When coaches and leaders freeze — and why it breaks trust
11:30 — Business capability vs emotional capability
13:14 — Robert Bly on the two paths to initiation
15:00 — Why most men never got emotional initiation
16:42 — Freeze as the nervous system saying “I wasn’t built for this moment”
17:30 — The Independent One, The I’m Fine Mask & The Perfectionist
20:10 — Boy psychology vs man psychology
22:03 — Emotional adulthood requires initiation, not toughness
23:30 — The invitation: where have YOU frozen?
24:20 — Teaser: The 9 Masks of Adam live in January

Resources / Links

👉 Join the waitlist for The 9 Masks of Adam — live in January
 

Want to Drop the Masks?

In January we begin The 9 Masks That Men Wear inside The Man Program.
If you want to stop letting old survival strategies run your life and start leading from who you truly are, this is for you.

Email me to get on the waitlist: andy@andynathan.co.uk

Connect with me

Instagram: @andyjnathan/ @themanprogram
Website: andynathan.co.uk /